And what a poem this is simply lovely,
dancing us along in the wind's thoughts
like the Autumn leaves pattering about on the road,
and their tap dance ahead of me that I experienced yesterday
as a music which,
despite the iciness of the north wind,
the gusts made into an experience I loved.

WONDERFUL mand loved it and love from Ann.

Guess we both have a case of wind today lol! Reckon great minds think alike. There are a few ideas you might consider.
l-7 : try -To build up static till it cracks
l-8 : change " of " to 'till.....these two things might seem less forced
l-24 : change " twinkled " to twinkling
l-26 : move " crowded " to after vapour
these are just a few alternatives in a very good metered write........scribbler

You have written over one of my favorite subjects. I love the
the wind. It has so many different personalities.
The poem, as a whole, is quite wonderful and wonderfully
descriptive.
I do feel there are one or two places where the rhyme seems
a little forced and doesn’t fit as neatly as most of the others.
There are a couple of places too, that the description is a bit
illogical to me. example would be: silk of milky snows.. snow
may look silky, but does it feel silky? the other is “.. waft the drift
of hollow bones”. I do not understand waft the drift…although
I love the hollow bones and how wind could deftly whisper quiet
tones. There are a few other spots with similar difficulties.
“……whip and skip the air” is air and wind not the same?
Most of the work is really light and airy and creative.
I have to smile at the antics.. ‘tickles when I twist the leaves
and rasp around the old oak trees.’ Love the entire second stanza.
‘lick the dust on dirty floors’…that is priceless! Many more are
just as good.
Still, I feel there are a few places you could work on for an even
better work.
Thank you for this journey with the wind. It was a delight.
Always,
Tonya

The title, well, it's OK, nothing to wite home about.

The rhythym...that's where it started to get interesting. I saw the length and balked, then read the first two stanzas, and was hooked by the easy cadence until the end, finding when I stopped, I wanted more.

The theme is well covered by many people, but you do it well,

But your language use...
...is splendid, with tight rhymes and startling images. I particularly like

"I like to knock the blocking doors
Or lick the dust on dirty floors
To stir the carbon factory smoke
And whisk away the toxic choke. "

that's just wildly vivid, to me.

Apart from the title, an excellent poem, is what I think.

Not a pest at all! I am glad for the response from you!
Waft the wings is better…but does it describe the bones?
..perhaps the rounds of hollow bones, something like that?
That gives them a more vivid and less abstract shape to me.
I think you can then see/feel the sound better. ? maybe?
The other line…”..whip and skip the air”. “agitate the
Air” is still like agitating the wind its self.
…whip and skip _____--how?

I do agree with Jim.. “…your language use...
...is splendid, with tight rhymes and startling images.”

Happy girl here,
Tonya

Dear Mand

Great writing at your best. Alot of imagery in this and it flowed ever so well

Blessings to you and the family
Mona Magics
xoxoxo
Missed you:)

Truly enjoyed this! I love to feel the wind on my face on a warm summer day...there are so many great images in this, and many more you could add I am sure. What a terrific subject. Particularly liked this stanza:

I like to toss the stars of night
And agitate the diamond light
To wink upon the lazy sea
A twinkled dance of energy.

Peace,
Lori

I loved this poem. If I had the talent to write something like this I would cherish and polish it to the best it could be. As it stands, it is a brilliant write, but it has the wherewithal to be great. Well done you!

Love

Ian xx

Free Spirit, this wind, dancing and swirling around wonderful imagery, oh mistress of the tempest. Well done!

~A

this poem is so very vibrant and full of energy...demonstrating the spirit within ..it reminds me of a poem written by a girl when she was just 9....let me find it for you...

here are the lines of her poem...

i am the shining star that lights up the night
i am the bounce of a ballerina's footsteps in motion..
i am the shining light of the sun along the path
i am the rarest flower in the rain forest
i am the moon that lights up the way in darkness
i am the food that nourishes giving one strength
i am a book that captures the imagination
i am someone's greatest true friend
i am the dream of a young child riding the wind like a roller coaster.
i am the sharp sound of lightening crackling through a summer sky.
i am the thundering hooves of a wild mustang running across the prarie.

You see, I am alive, I am alive
I stand in good relation to the universe.
I stand in good relation to the Gods and Goddesses.
i stand in good relation to all that is wonderful.
I stand in good relation to the daughter of the rain God.
You see I am alive, I am alive.

warmly..

Your poetry is lovely and a pleasure to read.
Sorry this stupid person advertising on here, it is very annoying.
It does not distract from your writing, I look forward to many more,
Yours Ian.T