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Rouge

I want to go on a wild rouge
easy wind tussling through long hair
with my love in the passengers seat
memory's keepsake giving peace

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

My code for parsing:-
I=Iamb, A=Anapaest, T=Trochee, D=Dactyl, Am=Amphibrach, S=Spondee, P=Pyrrhic, C=Catalexis,
~ = Caesura, [x= feet per line] (exclamation marks indicate perfect meter)

I want/ to go/ on a wild/ rouge [I, I, A, C, x4]
easy/ wind tuss/ling through/ long hair [T, I, I, I, x4]
with my/ love in the/ passengers/ seat [T, D, D, C, x4]
memory's/ keepsake/ giving/ peace [D, T, T, C, x4]

You were consistent with 4 feet per line, tetrameter, which is good. I'm going to read it, twice. The first time normally, the second time exaggerating the stresses as I hear them. Then you can tell me I'm full of shit. [grins].

https://vocaroo.com/i/s1J3NaR5dOiY

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

I appreciate your comments and taking the time to lead this workshop! It's slowly opening my eyes to how poetry can sound and flow better when you throw all those terms in there haha. Perhaps are accents are quite different like you said ;) West coast of Canada tones when I read out loud,

Being honest, when I first read your comment(s) I was taken back.
Especially with your code ^ haha. It's due to my lack of inexperience.
Those terms looked like gibberish to me at first, and still kind of do,
So my plan is to study them, and keep writing and reading these forms of poetry.
Poetry for dummies book anywhere? haha

Cheers

author comment

by clicking on the Vocaroo link?

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

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