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precious memories

as a stranger answers to your name
precious moments tumble
forever re-arrange
at their desire
events to play over in my mind

connect me with eternity
immerse me in the
emotional maelstrom
of love and pain that
had me crumble
under strain of under fire

suffocated by the veils of time
mixed with memories formed easily
omnipresent in my own magical
keepsake kingdom --

momentous or humble,
evenly strummed on evermore's lyre
nurtured
as is a well mellowed wine

'til they are ready to be
sung to the beat
of my own heart's drum

the dream is almost over
I will wake soon
forsaking
escaping
the broken crystal
taking pain
from the
empty
frightened heart
.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

...learn something from one of your efforts, this was no exception. There's something rather lovely about the cadence you used in this piece. Maybe another word for one of the "unders" in the one line; but other than that, I really liked this....plus;
I truly enjoyed this aloud, as well;
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

for the very kind and supportive comments

lol - that 'under' line is my favourite....
so i won't be changing it (unless others agree with you then i might - think about it that is lol)

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

suffocated by the veils of time
mixed with memories formed easily
omnipresent in my own magical
keepsake kingdom --

Just b e a u t f u l......llleerrrrr....

loved

thank you so very much loved

i'm sorry i haven't been to visit you lately - i'll be along soon i promise
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

looking forward to your splashhhhhhhhhhhh

loved

memories can bring joy or pain, some are bittersweet.I love how you have structured this piece! My favorite lines are:

connect me with eternity
immerse me in the
emotional maelstrom
of love and pain that
had me crumble
under strain of under fire

You weave enchantment.
love, Cat

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

thank you so very much
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I'm beginning to believe that you can not write a bad poem.. Exceptional!

Rom

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

thanks so much for that oh so supportive but very probably not so true comment
lol - i'm sure i've written more than a few bad ones

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

i picked up the same lines Judy just wonderful composition

suffocated by the veils of time
mixed with memories
formed easily
omnipresent
in my own magical
keepsake kingdom --

loved

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

...tit for tat.
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

i'm not sure what your comment means ???
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

...(of the moment, of course- must remain politically correct!)....what I was mentioning was, when you so very kindly said to me, "Those last two stanzas take my breath!"
I merely meant that, it's quite, the kindest of remarks, that's all.
Salutations to your OBVIOUS regal tastes in prose, and poetry!
Thanx, again.
Sincerely,
doc.
#{ :->{ )

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

I'll keep coming here

loved

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