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in passion i cry

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Thu, 2012-03-08 16:21

there is more to loving than having sex
so much more to hugging than french kissing
in passion I cry, be my love always

not just my lover

make me rain in the late hours of midnight
let my heart sing bump bump tonight my love
the pressure builds inside my limp body

listen to bones crack in my inner tighs
feel joint slip out of place welcoming you
stand up as flood gates burst open suddenly

The hot steamy masses flow freely from
passion bellowing everytime we make love
in passion I cry, be my love always

not just my lover

Style / type: 
Free verse
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing

Comments

wesley snow

Thu, 2012-03-08 17:36

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It's a little barbaric for my tastes, but I suspect that was deliberate. The "anus" word tripped me up too. Chalk it up to my distaste for free verse maybe. It just doesn't compare to your other work. wesley

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Barbara Writes

Thu, 2012-03-08 22:27

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Was experimenting with it
It not whey I like or prefer yo write
But did do just to see how it would be viewed

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author comment

Geezer

Thu, 2012-03-08 19:01

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However, I wasn't too keen on the use of anus. Maybe a better way to say it would be; the cleft of my buttocks?
I primarily write in rhyme, but occaisionally write free verse, so am not opposed to that, for sure. Imagine, me, who writes of a killer who is a cannibal not particullary liking the word anus! Good emotion shows through here. ~ Gee

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Barbara Writes

Thu, 2012-03-08 23:13

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Thanks Gee
I like your suggestion better and will change anus
it is barbaric i just couldn't think of a better word
at the time

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author comment

Esker

Thu, 2012-03-08 21:12

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passionate and full
alive and demure
full of cries and wild sulleness

I enjoyed your poem complete
here
the world is not sanitized
nor is love at times
that is the abandonment of passion

Thank You!

Barbara Writes

Thu, 2012-03-08 23:19

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I debated with my mind whether to post, but
I was courious

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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