Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

No Feet...

I saw a man that had no feet
So I wanted to lend him a hand
but he said; "No thanks
I already have two"

I told him that I thought
it was funny that he could make
a joke about having no feet
He said; "I never joke about that"

"I did think it was strange
that you offered to lend me a hand
when I already have two
and I really need some feet"

"Do you want to lend me one of yours?"
What would you do with only one foot?
"I would hop around looking for another one"
Sorry, I need them both to look for work

"How about you lend me some hair?
You seem to have plenty of that"
Do you want the roots and all?
"Yeah, I mean I don't want to go
for one of those weave jobs"

You said borrow; when did you plan on
giving it back?
"Why, when I'm done with it, of course"
Well, I was wondering if I should buy
some hats for the cold weather

"I guess it depends on how much you
are going out and what the weather is like"
Maybe YOU should buy some hats for this winter
"I just think I look better with hair
and if you were going to lend me some..."

Well, it's been nice talking with you
but I must be going now.
"Where are you going?"
I'm going to look for a job
"How about I go with you?"

Why should I take you with me?
" I just thought that if a prospective
employer saw you along side of me
You would have a better chance to get the job"
Are you fucking kidding me?

"No, I don't joke about having no feet"

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 

Comments

involves dialog because I take my cues from life and the people around me. I weave the fantasy the way I think it should have gone or the way I want it to.! [chuckle]. My characters sometimes are a conglomerate of traits from as many as three or four different people. I was thinking that maybe I should separate the dialog here by a space or two, would that help? ~ Geezer.
.

Comments and critique are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

author comment

I smiled all the way through this

Do you think that an extra space between the lines of dialog would help the reader?
~ Gee.
.

Comments and critique are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.