I saw a man that had no feet
So I wanted to lend him a hand
but he said; "No thanks
I already have two"

I told him I thought
it was funny he could make
a joke about having no feet
He said; "I never joke about that"

"I did think it was strange
you offered to lend me a hand
when I already have two
and I really need some feet"

"Do you want to lend me one of yours?"
What would you do with only one foot?
"I would hop around looking for another one"
Sorry, I need them both to look for work

"How about you lend me some hair?
You seem to have plenty of it"
Do you want the roots and all?
"Yeah, I mean I don't want to go
for one of those weave jobs"

You said borrow; when did you plan on
giving it back?
"Why, when I'm done with it, of course"
Well, I was wondering if I should buy
some hats for the cold weather

"I guess it depends on how much you
are going out and what the weather is like"
Maybe YOU should buy some hats for this winter
"I just think I look better with hair
and if you were going to lend me some..."

Well, it's been nice talking with you
but I must be going now.
"Where are you going?"
I'm going to look for a job
"How about I go with you?"

Why should I take you with me?
" I just thought that if a prospective
employer saw you along side of me
You would have a better chance to get the job"
Are you fucking kidding me?

"No, I don't joke about having no feet"