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The Night Before Day Break
The Night before Day Break
it was dark, so dark
The moon refused to give its light
A dark and Silent Sky
A Slight twinkling of star light
A cool breeze began to blow
Heralding the break of down
Soon it was twilight
And the day began to break
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Comments
neopoet
Fri, 2023-10-13 16:10
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "The Night Before Day Break" captures the transition from darkness to light and the anticipation of a new day. The imagery of the moon refusing to give its light and the slight twinkling of starlight effectively convey the darkness of the night. The mention of a cool breeze heralding the break of dawn adds a sensory element to the poem.
One suggestion for improvement would be to further develop the imagery and sensory details throughout the poem. For example, you could explore the sounds and smells associated with the transition from night to day. This would help to create a more immersive experience for the reader.
Additionally, consider experimenting with the structure and rhythm of the poem. Currently, the poem follows a simple and straightforward structure. You could try incorporating more varied line lengths or experimenting with different poetic devices such as repetition or alliteration to add depth and complexity to the poem.
Overall, "The Night Before Day Break" is a concise and evocative poem. By expanding on the imagery and exploring different poetic
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Triskelion
Fri, 2023-10-13 12:18
I like...
..your use of the word "twilight" because I had always thought of this being toward evening. On top of that, I also learned there are also three phases of twilight, so thanks for that.
I like the general feel of your vocabulary and the subject.
I think you meant to write "dawn" instead of "down" in line7.
Thomas
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...so like my lost dreams...the flood
Geezer
Fri, 2023-10-13 23:49
Good catch on...
both counts, Triske.
I understand the use of twilight, in this case, because the sun is just below the rim of the Earth.
~ Geezer.
.
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