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My Time

Submitted by Sheddie on Sun, 2023-06-18 02:02

My time
From cradle to the grave

My Peace,
My innocence.
My Glow,
My fortitude .

My Race,
My turbulence.
My Insanity,
My fiery furnace.

My rest,
My Very end.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
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Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Sun, 2023-06-18 08:03

neopoet's picture
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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

Thank you for sharing your poem "My Time". It is a short and concise piece that captures the different stages of life. Here are some feedback and suggestions that may help you improve your poem:

- Consider adding more details or imagery to help the reader visualize each stage of life. For example, what does "My Glow" or "My Turbulence" look like? How do they make you feel?
- Think about the overall tone of your poem. It starts with peaceful and innocent descriptions, then moves to more chaotic and intense ones. Is this intentional? If so, you may want to explore this contrast further and make it more prominent.
- The last line "My Very end" is a powerful conclusion to the poem. However, it may benefit from more context or explanation. What does "My Very end" mean to you? Is it a positive or negative thing?

Overall, your poem has potential, and I encourage you to keep exploring and refining your ideas. Thank you for sharing

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Sheddie

Mon, 2023-06-19 15:36

Sheddie's picture

Thanks for the review ❤️

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