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My Piece of Heaven (collaborative poem for Pastoral poetry WS)

The busy city street, the quiet country lane
I know which one of these that I would choose
only one conveys me away from cluttered pain
so watch me as I don my walking shoes

As busy buildings fade with each unforced tread
and the raucous noise becomes a freeform mantra
I slowly lose my constant source of dread
and all the world becomes my growing tantra.

Here the wilderness envelopes my mind
I now drift as the oceans quiet waves
all fears of being, I know will be left behind
within my self's frame, caressing new days

.
stanza 1 Judy (judyanne)
stanza 2 Jess (weirdelf)
stanza 3 Ian (sparrow)
.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Editing stage: 

Comments

three creative artists coming out with a master piece...pleasure to read and absorb..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Was it a rude comment?
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I read Stan's directions wrong. I thought the one who writes the end should send to the stream.
The poem begins, fleshed and ends beautifully.

Let's see what the boss has to say.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

It was belts and Braces, I think I may also have posted to stream.
Having just read it again I think the flow was continuous throughout the piece and didn't lose any of the original theme, and the Pastoral effect was well balanced.
Most of the ones I have read here are doing very well with seamless joins,
Yours Ian

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

He wrote for the person who 'furnished the beginning' to post....- lol sparrow was also short-sighted and obviously read 'furbished' as 'finished'

He and Jess and I thank you for the kind comment
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

of what was actually a rather complicated piece.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Jess, Ian and I thank you
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I've seen a lot of collaborative poems over the last 6-8 year but this shop has displayed about the smoothest ones as far as transition from one poet to another that I can recall. Kudos to all

I agree
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I suspect respect. This says something about the Pastoral theme in general. No matter how 'cityfied' we are our feelings about nature are deep and personal and everyone treated each other's submissions with real respect.

Thank you, Judyanne and Ian.

cheers,
Jess
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