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THE MUSIC'S NOT OVER
my love's not one
to lay back and listen to music.
that's why we fuck all day.
that's why i love music.
man, what the fuck?
200,000 years
and i'm still none the wiser
cos nothing changes. governments
world-wide, year-in year-out, pledge
prosperity and promised lands.
yet, after 6000 years of 'civilisation'
(whatever that means), here we are
still stuck in the bog of eternal stench
and i'm fucked as to how to stop its rot,
since history tells me that revolutions
don't work. they merely replace one
power crazed idiot with another
reason i love music.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
WELL, THERE'S A TURNIP FOR THE COOKERY BOOKS
AND IN ME ANTIPODEAN MATE'S UNDERPANTS.
LOVE TO ALL X
Editing stage:
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Comments
weirdelf
Fri, 2018-05-04 01:21
Cooment no longer relevant.
Bye.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
chevyvent
Wed, 2018-05-02 13:49
Poetry can have a tendency to be abstract by intention
Poetry can have a tendency to be abstract by intention especially considering it is written as an expression of self so naturally only the author will have a full understanding
hi poet friend your verses bang in the head and heart I love the dreams your verses explore – an angel has rocked you for your poetry spins before you good wishes fair follower
Mario Vitale
chevyvent
Wed, 2018-05-02 15:27
Pay no attention to Weirdelf
He even hates himself.
Mario Vitale
weirdelf
Fri, 2018-05-04 02:02
Ignore Mario, like everyone else does.
He is under the delusion that he is anything but mediocre.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
IRiz
Thu, 2018-05-03 15:16
Hello mean poet,
Hello mean poet,
Your poem reads well and gives the impression of a lost soul and unrest.
I can relate to the topic and love music as well, although for a different reason.
I love music because it helps to share what is best in us.
You use fuck to often, I am not against the word.
But repetition makes the word weaker.
Write on, rebellion is a worthy topic.
IRiz
chevyvent
Fri, 2018-05-04 15:12
Jess Is For Jess
take it from me Jess needs help. He puts others down so he can feel superior over them,
Jess is for himself don't be fooled by his kindness there's a lot of rottenness in his soul.
He never helped me but always put me down on this site I hope that others take notice.
Friends with him who needs enemies the man needs therapy now enough of Jess..,
Your poem is amazing and you always surprise me with your work keep on going.
Mario Vitale
Sparrow
Thu, 2018-05-10 03:37
Now Now Poets
Or should we say assassins of people, does it matter a hell who writes what, just get on and judge the poem or write, without downing the writer as we most times have never met, and live on the far reaches of a troubled Planet, we should know better and accept all writes and judge them on their merits not the poet.
Shakespeare had a mistress and played around as to some of the other greats well just read their works, not their autobiographies, here we are supposed to comment on the work.
Great places are made by clear thought not bickering.
Yours Ian.T Sparrow and Yenti..
Loves you all..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti