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MORNING AROMA ( RANDOM CHALLENGE 14)

Your body scent
drops a flourish fragrance
like jasmine; a sweet floral
smells travel ascending to the moon

a feminine sweetness tenaciously
rousing my love and admiring you more
your aroma is now necessary
for me alone to inhale

you are
the goddess of love
you're beautiful
strong floral and
sweet fragrance
that is highly romantic
I'll pause the sun not to shine against thee
untill it turns into short-wave length color
for you're not eligible to change into black skin

you're my morning aroma
I will never give chance for odious
aroma to penetrate here
your scent anoints my environment
and there is fullness of joy of peace

©® Onyinyechi Cosmos Etu

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Comments

in this line: like a jasmine; a sweet floral. remove the first "a" so it reads:

(like jasmine; a sweet floral)

this line is awkward: rousing my love and (staring) more on you

the problem word is the one in parentheses maybe use (gazing or admiring) then take out (on)

I really like your poem these are my favorite lines:

your aroma is now necessary
for me alone to inhale

*hugs, Cat

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and deviate from the established rules of language"~Jackweb

author comment

it flows so much better now with the changes!

*hugs, Cat

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And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

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