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Magpie

Submitted by judyanne on Fri, 2015-10-16 00:09

In quiet, inactive tryst of early morning,
when yesterday's an echo through the mist
and Venus shimmers, swinging on sky's awning,
and shines with eye of one who's just been kissed,
the songster of the bush begins to warble
an aria of old, from Dreamtime's play,
that seems to mimic every human foible,
and signals us the coming of the day,

While fingered colours dance the old horizon
I smell and taste the early morning dew;
unravel bygone deeds that I have spun;
await the gold that births the world anew.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
In a real frump with my writing, so I decided to use October's competition as inspiration, even though I'm too late to enter........
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

raj

Sun, 2015-11-01 05:02

Good to see you back Judyanne.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

judyanne

Sun, 2015-11-01 07:11

judyanne's picture
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Thank you - lovely to see you too
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

wesley snow

Sun, 2015-11-01 15:18

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(If you were late, it doesn't count for Oct.). I'm going to participate and I can't beat you or Rula. I might beat Stan. We're about equal, but you guys scare me. Leave off and let me win.

I believe the term is "laugh out loud". Am I correct?

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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judyanne

Sun, 2015-11-01 22:27

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What a load of you-know-what Mr Snow....
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

emeka ozurumba

Fri, 2015-11-13 05:58

emeka ozurumba's picture

an exquisite write

judyanne

Tue, 2015-11-17 09:51

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for your very kind comments
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Rula

Tue, 2015-11-17 22:13

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.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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Roscoe Lane

Tue, 2015-11-17 17:35

Roscoe Lane's picture

Excellent, i liked this a lot. Love Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

lovedly

Tue, 2015-11-17 18:52

lovedly's picture

will Lovedly ever
pole vault like you
in poetry, never
ere now I now slash
the waffle altogether
where can I come
for beautiful words to gather
coming off your poetic feather..
any surplus pack em together
with folded hand
I here stand

Sparrow

Tue, 2015-11-17 19:22

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Mr Snow has conceded, we shall have to find a short month for him to enter, so that we can have a rest and let him win.
We could pretend and ask Stan to send him an arrowhead or two, or one of those gadgets for taking stones out of horses hooves, LOL Lot of learning ???
Loved this write and he is so right about its superior quality,
the title threw me a little as a magpie here is a cackling annoyance and steals shinny things maybe yours sing, ours haven't learned that yet??
Take care young lady, know we think of you,
Yours as always, Ian, Anne, and the Children xx

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Unconditional love to you all.
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Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

judyanne

Tue, 2016-03-22 07:15

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Thanks all for the read and comments
sorry for the very late acknowledgement

Ian - i don't find the magpie's song at all annoying - they really can warble ... and they are wonderful mimics
perhaps you're correct - maybe the aussie maggies have learned to sing better due to our wonderful wide open space as opposed to the cramped heavy trod air of England
(Lol)

Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

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