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Life in a Cuppa

Up to a point
leaves will seep
into all its waters
until the cup overflows

so much as to stain
meticulously starched table linen.
Then we shall face with reckoning
its true substance!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
Let us consider the quiet wonder of a well made cup of tea. :-)
Editing stage: 

Comments

Reading your fortune in the tea leaves?

I knew that would so be read into that.
It's ambiguous enough to lend itself the a few interpretations.
Could be, really, although that was not the original kernel of thought.
I don't mind that it would portray tea leaf fortune telling, really. :-)
Thanks you for your visit and sharing your thought on the poem.

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

author comment

You will get a good tanning with this one, should you spill the tea onto that cloth, Good theme and a quirky write, I just drink coffee now there are too many fortune tellers around, and I would rather not know..
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

in it, which is why it remained and saw the light of sharing on the www. I love the smell and taste of coffee, but stay clear of the caffeine and the ensuing stale coffee breath and teeth stains.... Why can't we have our cake and eat it as well.... baahh humbug!

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

author comment

When I was in my early days and the revolution was going on good old Maria told her husband that we could eat cake.
Madam Guillotine interrupted and the reply was lost in the cheer of the crowd, I nearly dropped a stitch in the scarf I was knitting.
A strange thought struck me how the hell do you keep a scarf on after a visit to Madam Guillotine, as I always knitted in deep red wool there was no clash of colours, Have a great day out there,
Yours Sparrow..

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I love the Zen quality and from the making of the tea till its stain leaving an indelible mark

Love this I find nothing to crit

Bravo !!

Love Jc (seren)

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

There is something about tea and Zen, isn't there.
It is an undertone that carries across to the world of the Anglophile and bridges it to its Oriental connections.

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

author comment

Your images are so clear. Amazing.

I'd get rid of the first two "the"s in the first stanza, as I don't think they're needed and distract from the image. However this is just my personal opinion:).

Beautiful work!

Of first verse. Second one seems ok to me

Done!

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

author comment

Thanks for all that welcome input.
Already edited with due consideration to your combined input!
My deepest gratitude for your interaction.

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

author comment

I especially love the transcendent mundanity of the piece.

I am not at all sure about the exclamation mark ending, being of the school of thought that the words themselves should usually provide any needed emphasis, and I think they do here.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Now I am torn. I am one for minimal punctuation, relying on the readers and users of language to fill in where it is obvious and begrudgingly leave a punctuative marking where there may be some uncertainty. But most if not all (now I know not all) reviewers and critics would rather punctuate and even over-punctuate rather than fall into the "imagined" possibility of a lack in punctuation.

I don't believe that there is such a thing as a lack of punctuation in the pure sense of the concept. But that is for a different forum or venue of discussion.

Thanks again for you valued and most welcome input.

Cheers, Ricky

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

author comment

in the first three words
''a''
is common

I'm sure I an will leave
coffee out
and drink it whilst ..others are guessing
the future outcome of
stains....
all over

loved

I had the suspicion that some of our readers
would connect this with astrology and fortune telling
but that is okay.
and Hopefully it gives a sense of depth of meaning for them
as well as to those who just think of a nice cup of tea
in the garden or the porch or at a tea party.
Or even a normal, typical, morning tea or afternoon tea
kind of situation, without fuss, without celebration.

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

author comment

This is very much against
Archimedes' principle
by tea leaves alone
liquid will not ever overflow
have a rethink if you may..

only if one stirs rapidly
then spill it may
and stain the ''one''
all the same.

loved

He can get stuffed! Hahaha

__________________________________________________
'Break, break break on thy cold grey stones, O Sea.'

author comment

Archimedes now there's a thing, wasn't he responsible for inventing the screw, I will say no more, Happy hunting out there LOL, Yours Sparrow..
PS :- at least he made it to five letter words.. La La

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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