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The Language of Drunk(Acrostic Poem)
Three sheets to the wind, the boat meanders,
Hammered with repeated blows.
Euphoric, triumph will prevail.
Loaded with accessories,
Annihilates the blue screen of death.
Naggin-bottle, empty and sweaty.
Groggy from exhaustion and blows.
Under the weather deck,
Addicted in a weakened state,
Giddy, as dusk approaches,
Erunk, The past becomes present.
Oiled on troubled waters,
Fried from battling the waves.
Drunk with passion to reach
Rocky land in the far distance.
Under the influence, controlling my fate,
Newcastle, on the horizon,
Knowing, the safety of the harbor.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
lonlyhrtsclub13
Sun, 2017-10-29 10:30
Very creative
Love the title and use of acrostics. I thought this was a very creative idea.
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Eumolpus
Sun, 2017-10-29 16:02
Acrostic poem
I had to look that one up.. Very interesting! I'm not sure the many variations of concrete, visual,
or clever forms often applied to poetry can work, as in add meaning to the work. What you have done is very clever here but that you used the title to create the form, but knowing has not added to the pleasure for me. But if that was the force that fed the poem...whatever it takes is a plus.
I couldn't find "erunk" so i'm not sure what you mean there. The poem seems to suddenly come out in the idea that you are "drunk with passion" to reach the safety of the harbor. This immediately made me re-read the poem a few times to try to connect the idea of drunkenness, a euphoria, controlling your fate and the passion. So I felt I needed a little more to find connect the a few of these very powerful symbols- drunk on a ship in unsettled waters seeking shelter.
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings