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It's Paradise In the Country

Submitted by Barbara Writes on Wed, 2016-04-20 10:41

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood.
Brick homes, timed sprinklers.
Plush green foliage, free flowing ponds.
Frogs singing nonstop.
It's a peaceful time in this country neighborhood.

If only the world was like this everywhere, everyday.
Quietness, birds chirping in the treetops.
It's music to my ears, heart and soul.
Paradise was put in us from the beginning of creation.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Comments

alidzain

Wed, 2016-04-20 12:46

Hi Barbara

good one.

Alid

Barbara Writes

Thu, 2016-04-21 19:03

Alid

Thanks for the read. I appreciate that

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

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author comment

Keith Logan

Thu, 2016-04-21 07:19

Hello Barbara

I like this very much, it concurs so much with my own way of thinking. One tiny nit, may just be the way I read it but I would swap the first two words of the second stanza.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

Barbara Writes

Thu, 2016-04-21 19:05