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Goodnight Kiss

Living in another world
singing a different song.
Keeps me away from you
it’s been for far too long.

So I’ll take the early plane
to get back home tonight.
I can’t get to sleep anymore
if I can’t kiss you goodnight.

Never wanted to go away
but I just thought I should.
Doing things, the best I can
to bring about some good.

I need to be home again
singing a familiar song.
Knowing I am with you
back where I belong.

I’m taking the early plane
to be home with you tonight.
Knowing we’ll be together
and I can kiss you goodnight.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
Been a while, my pen had dried up somewhat. Tim
Editing stage: 

Comments

A very sentimental piece.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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well, I live in a wet climate!

tim

author comment

Responding to your comments Beau.

Good of you to take the time out to read and comment like you have and yes I do like the idea of this poem being a bit like a song.
I agree some of the ryhming needs abit of attention too although my only intended ryhme is the 2nd and 4th line in each verse.
I tend to stick to simple ryhme as much as possible or I got lost in trying to get out what I'm trying to say.
But even at my age I'm still learning .
thanks for the advice,
Tim

author comment

This is a sweet poem. It exudes love and longing. I like the flow and the rhyming structure. I think this is an all round down to earth lovely poem.

Well done.

Mand xxxx

Thank you Mand,
Your comments are important to me and very meaningful and encouraging. My pen has been running on empty for a long time.
take care,
Tim

author comment

Just a song but songs are OK the sentiment is fine.
I see we must find the anger button to see what happens.
Take care and just write we will read,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thanks for dropping by and reading Ian.
best regards,
Tim

author comment

change the last line to

"and I can kiss you goodnight"
to kiss you goodnight.

Have you joined the family yet?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Thank you Rula, I agree with you about the last line, I'm not really happy with it.
Not sure if what you suggest works with the previous line, so I will have to give it some thought.
However, your feedback has confirmed to me I need to change it.
Not written for a while, in fact it's been 18 months, so I'm testing myself out with this one.
thanks,
Tim

author comment

being the longest member of Neo
i have read you long ago
still young at heart
even retired now you are
as you say so
'twas long ago
just by the way
Now i rarely post
but poetry still flows
as comments
all know
so be free and frank
to wallow
hope you do follow

Thanks for your excellent comment which you have clearly worked hard on.
take care, Tim

author comment

hardly ......

if you do remember me
I am the only
off the cuff neopoet
and in the world
I never edit readers do it for me
thank ye

Not sure what you mean, but you do write some great stuff in your comments, Tim

author comment

thank you
you do return after a very long time
hence you will slowly
catch up

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