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Girlie Girl

I'm not a girlie girl
i don't wear pink dresses,
i didn't play with Barbie when i was a child.

I long for unconditional devotion,
but i haven't spent my life
in pusuit of the perfect white wedding.

The love i have to give is infiniite.
when passion hits , ill be a slave to fervor,
i'll be adoration's bitch.

But i will not surrender
to the dark side of my gender
I won't be a girlie girl.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Might add some extra verses

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I find your poems so down to earth, and so often I find that my head is nodding in agreement. I agree with you that this is the kind of poem that can be built on.

I thoroughly enjoyed this poem.

Thank you for sharing.

Love Mand xxxx

Thank you so much.

love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I hope very soon, a manly man will appreciate your womanness and you both will fall deeply and passionately,
madly in love.

;-)

~A

Cross fingers

lol

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Yes I need more, on how to win you over!
I know what your not, then say what you truely are from the heart.

"i will sit on the floor in my bluejeans
and enjoy a movie while I eat popcorn,
I will start to dance,
just because, I hear music in my head"

something like that you know you better than I?
Always Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Your right it needs that angle.

Thanks

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Im talking to an fantasy lover

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

this write of yours evoked an image of a bud craving to bloom in wild abandon for a worthy bee to discover her charm...alight and frolic upon its petals..and sip and savor the nectars..making it dance upon its stalk in exuberant joy of feeling the sun..the wind......the rain....and spread her fragrance of love....

very effective write ..its true that the reader is left with a craving for more..but then you are excused for truncating the write because it adds a Veil-like silken sensual element....

Wishing you and your beloveds Merry Christmas ..

raj (sublime_ocean)

" not a girlie girl " this is interesting Louise
but you are a good friend , honest, loyal
and worth knowing and of course reading.
those of us without are always seeking
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,zigs

I salute anyone who breaks the rules in the interest of art and great poetry writing just as much as I admire poets who craft meter and verse within the confines of good grammar. Walk the tight rope or jump from it and see if you can fly.

So are those of us with... (Shhhh. Don't tell Barry!)

Seriously, it is desire that sets all events into motion. The stronger the desire, the more likely it is to be fulfilled.
However, make sure you get all the incidentals right, like what you want her/him to be like. Have a very clear picture in your mind. And then the universe will fuck with you and send you someone else. (Just kidding again.)

I really take the desire not to be alone, to share life with someone with whom life isn't a struggle or compromise at every turn very seriously. Though I am far from being serious much of the time.

I know, more than 2 cents.

~A

Thank you

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Ziggy you,ve made this girl very happy thanks mate.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Friends are much better,than the men who just want to get into ur knickers LOL

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Well, there ya go, quit wearing knickers, Lou!

~

p.s. I love your new avatar, if I were young and could deal with the pain, I'd have that tattooed on my back.
Which reminds me, don't forget how young you are, your life is ahead of you... and so are endless possibilities.
That's a good thing, a very good thing.

I have re-written this poem, hope it has improved

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

happy new year

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Lou,

good raw write, just the way I like your poetry. No airs or graces...just shove it in your face...perfect.

I like the re-edit by the way.

The love i have to give is infiniite.
when he finds me, ill be it's slave,
i'll be it's bitch...

...the 'He' in this stanza becomes an 'It'...that's worrying, are you seeking something other than a human male?...maybe an alien or Satan himself?...Lol!

Good write,

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

HS

I'm pleased that you like it.

My taste in men does not run to aliens etc, although a couple have turned out to be odd. The it in question is love.
i can see how it could confuse you LOL !!!! ill change it.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Lou,

your profile picture:

Is that your new tattoo?

cool if it is!

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

Dan,

You have seen me, you know im not slim , im a big woman, it would'nt look good on me. lol

But i would like to get an angel's wing or wings tatooed on the inner portion of my wrist, or on a shoulder blade.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Lou,

you don't have to have it that big...I designed my own angel tattoo (see link), so you could add the wings to your back.

If you had the wings on your innder wrist, would it be one wing on each arm or both together?

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a346/aggro242/IMG_0314.jpg

regards,

HS

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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

i'd have two on one arm, in a similar design to my profile picture.

Your tattoo is cool.

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

one thing that drives me crazy...

*its* means one thing, (no designation of he or she, an inanimate object)

*it's* is a contraction for it is.

~A

Lou I love your work
one of the few who always makes me go
Woow and re read
some lines are just classic Lou
"I'll be adorations bitch"
awesome poetic line
havent seen great lines like this
in a while

I ended up for Barbie esqe types
Skipper gone bad maybe
after twenty years on the run

my freind I hang out with though
to get a break from the daily madness
speaks her mind has a wicked loud
laugh and drives her own four by four
with leather interior Shes got class
never know whom Im going to meet
and never know what awesome poetry
is going to jump out at me

i'm pleased that you enjoyed this poem,

i don't drive a truck, but i defend the right of any woman to be who she wants to be

lou xx

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I would like to see this poem expanded upon, and given some added dimension. You skirt the surface in to timid a fashion. A poem on a personal level, as this one, needs to rip out some gut. We need to see that pink dress stuffed into some girlie girls mouth by you the howling bitch goddess - well maybe if you just tell us a bit more about who Lou really is, and what exactly makes you unique by those things that define you more closely; truly and with a radical flare, I'm on board.

B

Im fairly satisfied with the way it is now, but thanks for reading and commenting

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

old age I listened to music changed
U tube internet got me Neopoet
when I got bored of tunes
bookstores still excitement me
books covers and library loaners

band women Liked and still do for the
voices are KITTIE and FLUFFY (from london)
(not sure where Kitty are from) like roy orb
and Kitty Wells Patsy C Billie Holiday
lately its been PJ HARVEY (white chalk)
Kristen Herch vocal and musician
used to listen to Patty Smith and still do
shes got a wicked version of Nirvanas
song
Kristen is good and Girlie Girl LENKA
for "trouble is a freind of mine"
Courtney Love I just listen to her art craft
and lyrics I dont live with her
but I think shes good

before I became a poet I thought poets
were weird I was just weird
now IM a weird Poet

I love poetry and poets

I still say your work is amazing
thank you

women like you. I guess maybe because I am attracted to them. Girlie Girls want to change you into a girlie - man! LOL I like the edge that you present here. Especially the line of not surrendering to the darkside of your gender. I can see it now; Surrender to the darkside, Lou. "Never, you Barbie - Bitch!"
And you rip off her head! Nice work, ~ Gee

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Lol thanks, never had a Barbie, had a Teeny Tiny Tears but I didn't really play with her, she kept wetting herself.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment
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