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Womb to Tomb

Womb To Tomb

We were born naked kicking and screaming
Infinite potential personified and gleaming
Dragged into the iridescent light of a new day

Perfectly oblivious, fabulously ignorant
Unsullied by human intervention
Blissful sublime in our naivety

Held safe against your mother's breast
The womb was not yet vacated
The cord unbroken

School begins and the world rushes in
We are forever altered
Our senses assaulted by the reality of life

Life moves on full pelt
If adolescence doesn't kill then
We find the strength to face the working world

If we are lucky we find love and begin to make
Sense of it all, we have meaning
We feel safe

At the end of the day we exit this world
With the hope that it was all worthwhile
That we achieved something

Editing stage: 

Comments

as life accelerates as the result of passing time we all must wonder if we've done anything worthwhile........stan

how true

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

thank you very much, i'm pleased that you likes it.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I liked the piece, but IMHO it some of the verses seem to lack the passion thsat is so strong throughout all of your other writes. I liked these lines:

At the end of the day we exit this world
With the hope that it was all worthwhile
That we achieved something

always, Cat (& eddy)

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

'We were born naked kicking and screaming
Infinite potential personified and gleaming
Dragged into the iridescent light of a new day' - a great opening

i love the rhyme - especially the hidden as in
'School begins and the world rushes in
We are forever altered
Our senses assaulted by the reality of life'

but somehow as it progresses, the write loses its 'oomph'
it becomes a 'telling' instead of a 'description' if you understand what i mean

still love it, but it fades towards the end :)
love judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

there is a new poetic voice in this work, I love the sound and language of it.

You've been working on your craft, girlfriend!

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet is a workshop. Poets take the time to read and think about your work and offer suggestions.
There is no obligation to make any changes however please acknowledge critique and comments.

thank you

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

television cereal
and reality past three
..
school..(dread)
luckily for me I was shunned in grade five!
I just survived the gauntlet to eighteen
where one becomes elible to vote and
to go off and kill for ones flag!
(Then you are a somebody important and worth the while)
something I turned down
and poetry and darkness I picked up

Im making my imperfect little family unit but its mine
At least I got one!!! and when Im gone maybe all this
work will mean something

Intense and lively poem Lou I do relate muchly to this!

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