Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Submission

Step outside, feel,the sharp air across your cheek.
move forward, sensory overload
Expelled into the universe..

Explode hurtle into society, be free
Thrust, penetrate the world .
Fuck it into reality.

Blow away all obstacles 
Dominate, smack it into submission
Live each day like there will never be another.

Editing stage: 

Comments

Get on with the day do it, whatever it is you want to do, "for tomorrow we die."

You don't need the comma before feel, first line.
I am not sure I want to return to the womb, that would mean the whole charade all over again and I wouldn't enjoy that. But its a sprung part of the poem; almost like a robot getting orders we could become that to push ourselves out and then become ourselves and LIVE bam smack whoosh! I see the bits and pieces flying.

It could be me when I was in my teens as I did fencing, even fenced for my county, thrusting was the norm and the flèche/arrow was the most wonderful way to do it, slightly get over balance standing only on the right foot (rt handed) and push off with it hitting your opponent as you pass them through the air, that has this feeling too, wonderful. Nobody ever got hurt, probably the safest sport in fact.

I know how you felt when you wrote this Lou,
Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

when i say i go back to the womb, i am not telling you to do that, i mean that sometimes we get scared and want to go back to safety

thanks for reading

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Explosive! Volatile! I love it! Pregnant with energy!

Expelled into the universe
Explode hurtle into society, be free
Thrust, penetrate the world
Fuck it into reality
Blow away all obstacles

always, eddy (& Cat)

When you fling poo, some of the stink sticks to you!

"The Book of Styx" can be ordered and purchased on line at:
http://eddystyx.mythramuse.com/

that is my favourte stanza to.

i'm glad you like it.

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

This is one of your best, Lou. I felt the thrust of your idea and the point of your sword. Keep swinging! Love ya, ~ Gee

Our Chatroom is open 24/7 Feel free to use it for
keeping in touch We have poets around the world and it is fun
to have real-time conversations with those that are up
all night or on the other side of the world.
.

thanks

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

great poem.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

thanks

lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

risks sometimes great but a different risk
then physical
then found pain
submission dominance
my aches are personal
intimate
sometimes I only feel alive when my muses
my woman is emotionally giving me
the kind of hell I need to "Feel"
there is the want to have softness
but sometimes its the sting that
makes one shiver
the bruise that is hidden or revealed
and compelling

rather new to me that
and rather exciting I find
Of course I was drawn to
the title right away
and rightly satisfied with
your works and read
per always

Thank You Lou!

no thank you

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I got a tatoo and some peircings
was explained to me about
belonging
Now I see these things everywhere
and understand that love
of the fetish of ink and hardware

I have the freinds whom talk about
their past..their heavy histories
and how they survived

I have my friends whom had easy
backed childhoods with stable
parents too

a mixed life
a busy life
Im still alive

still in touch with my friends
on the street
on the phone

and I
examining life
and its many degrees

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.