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Explosion...

Shadows crawling down the street
Merging, twisted shapes
Turn on the lights to see by
Hide behind the drapes

Secrets of the neighborhood
Behind the closing doors
Evil lurks in the minds of men
The Devil's looking for the bored

The blue and flickering images
Giving way to a cast of hues
It's true-life's big parody
Just watch the evening news

Trapped in a world not my own
I'm planning my escape
Stocking up on video-games
I've got a costume with a cape

The Internet is a secret door
I go out late at night
Weapons fully loaded
I'm preparing for a fight

I'll wear a mask of timidity
Outside the compound walls
I will be so meek and mild
I'll hide my brassy balls

My secret life, my hero's guise
In my off-limits room
Killing men and monsters
Playing havoc, dealing doom

Shadow dark and dangerous
Don't go messing with my head
I'll fill you full of bullet holes
Leave you bleeding, dead

Today I'll take the fight outside
I'll show them all who's boss
Those bullies will get bullets
I'll be fighting for the cause

Let them come, I'll face them down
I'm not scared to death today
I've got a pistol in my locker
Now... I'm going to make them pay

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
Lately, my poems seem to start taking off on tangents of their own. Does this happen to other people? ~ Gee
Editing stage: 

Comments

and carries on well throughout. My only suggestion is a comma after its true in the third verse. That last couple of verses are well written but disturbing, which I suspect is quite intentional.

Keith Logan
the happy chappy
https://www.neopoet.com/community-guidelines

put a comma after the word true, because I intended it to mean true-life, not it's true. I guess I should have put a hyphen in there? Yes, I did want this to be a powerful poem and make a statement. I've seen the impact that bullying makes on young people who have had their minds shaped by video-games and what I might call the "Hero-Complex". I know that it doesn't affect just youngsters, but they are the most at risk. I tried to show, that school isn't the only place that is affected and that bullying can and does make life miserable in all aspects of the bullied lives. Notice, that there are no adult figures in evidence? The strong presence of adults and no off-limits places in their children's lives can make a world of difference. Thank you for your critique and comments. ~ Gee.
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author comment

I'm glad that you see what I am trying to achieve here. I am still considering a change of title and may use some variant of your suggestion. ~ Geezer.
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author comment

willard of coppolas work
and travis of scorcese's
others...
will come back to this..

W

but I like it!

that you like what I have done and look forward to hearing your opinion. ~ Gee.
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They are a vital part of our community!
Critique or comment today!

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