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ESSENCE-ESKER-Workshop-Great Poetry

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Submitted by Esker on Wed, 2013-01-23 04:48
Rain is speaking
beneath the sky
a paper roams
indifferent filling dark
eyes on font

subtle soft like chalk

a dampness clinging
full of illusions

the pains of growth
healed and broken

I remember our river
chilled with the spring
the slush flowing swift
like blossoms of winter

gardens of lush
knowing

I remember the summers
we put away the love
in sacred places
treasured however

soiled with rain
and swept sweet
with light

the music of it
falling within
falling in

Last few words: 
I consider Esker's poetry to be great. Always fascinating. His phrasing is always unique. He has a 'voice' that is etheral. He can also be confounding, strange and unfathomable. He makes me THINK. QED. Ellie :))
Editing stage: 

Comments

My submission is for ESKER.

author comment

Really good choice. I agree this is a great one of his. the metaphors are brilliant. especially "rain speaking beneath the sky"

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So glad you agree...even if the images are confounding, they are memorable...his writing affects me. I think that is the mark of a great poet.

Ells x

author comment

I agree that this is an excellent choice. The comparisons using imagery are very good. I have always thought Esker's poetry was almost primative. As if a person only had a certain number of words in which he could convey his intent. Almost a perfection of minimalism. Now the bad part of minimalism is that it requires the reader to fill in all the blanks which some readers don't want to be bothered with. The good part is that it lends more freedom to interpretation of his poetry thus allowing the reader to personalize the poem as he/she sees fit.

Now I'd love to give suggestions to improve this poem but this minimalism is so far beyond my usual writing that I'd likely only mess up lol...............stan

That was a very good way of putting it Stan, yes.

Love Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

right Stan, I think that your assessment of his minimalism is right on! It's like his mind is speaking right to mine, to convey ideas directly, without the bother of too many words. I know that to some, it is probably like my tinnitus; where I have to figure out what was really being said, because some of the words or parts of them are lost, but I seem to get his messages most of the time with no problem. ~ Gee

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I commented on his poems last time,
I still think he is a great poet.

Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

and I believe Betty's choice is very wise here. Well captured winter that touches our "ins". It captures winter from a different angle. Very powerful even though it is written in simple words. Again it is an opinion.

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

not just of Neopoet but of modern poetry.

As Stan says it is almost impossible to offer constructive critique on most of his work, he has even stopped spelling friend as freind! This one does offer one opportunity for critique, and it is a rather personal opinion. I am not fond of the 'concrete' titles he has been using for a while. This is one of the more excessive. Using all caps, or all uncapped, with extra spaces between letters strikes me as decorative, perhaps even pretentious, and does not contribute to the works.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

I am with you a little here Jess, but as we so enjoy the poetry we overlook the unnecessary bits like mis spellings and very odd titles, looking into the pith of the words, his poetry could be made more aesthetically presented, I agree.

Love Ann.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

This is another strong poem by Esker. The emotions it brings out in me, in order, are: melancholy, bittersweet joy, love, concern over someone far away whom I still love, awe in the wide universes inside and outside my head, and envy because I don't write this well....hehe. I would disagree with the prior assessment that there is ambiguity involved. Everything here is very clear to me. I may not see the exact things Esker intended or used as a subject, but I am moved by it as if I did. That to me is great poetry. Great poetry can wound you.

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

This is not an official shop statement. I thought of this poem and Esker's style enough (with reasultant headache for asking brain to think lol) that I have started a blog dealing with "excess" words in free verse poetry. Thought ya'll might want to keep this line of thought going so feel free to join in..................stan

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