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Citadel Of Ruin
Know your place
Get off my case
Those that can
Don't give a damn
Of the Tau...
The signs are there
on the top
of the Mountain
But the holy sanctus
want you to
cowtow
to convention
Do your time
workshop
learn from mishap
Do what we want
And don't complain
You think I want
to join your cabal
of creative cretins?
I climb to the peak
I spread my arms
For all to see
The message
for those
that keep the secret of the
sacrement...
I am the Tau
I will not bend.
Editing stage:
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Comments
jane210660
Thu, 2017-05-18 08:37
Sooooo..............
No more workshop invites then - big grin.
Jx
------------
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Don't forget to offer critique on poems you read.
vandiemenspeak
Thu, 2017-05-18 08:45
This one grabbed me..
Just off the top of the page, It's defiant in tone, resolute somehow - and moves at quite a pace, I was curious: Tau as in golden ratio? I had 'Tao' in my head, because I'd been reading about Lao Tzu - and then this pops up, I dunno, not linked I know, but the word is obviously key, Tau - as in Egyptian cross? Number of possible meanings at first look. If this a rough draft, will be curious to see how it develops.
Intriguing and engaging.
Loved:
cabal
of creative cretins
hilarious alteration!
Thanks Betty,
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
vandiemenspeak
Thu, 2017-05-18 08:49
OK - I missed something here..
If it's internal politics, that's a shame - still liked the poem, hope you can sort it out.. :/
It's only poetry folks.
Take care,
Chris.
Chris Hall - Tasmania
Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.
BettyBuff
Thu, 2017-05-18 13:13
Glad It "Grabbed You"!
Yes, I enjoyed the alliteration too!
Indeed it has multiple layers of meaning...
Cheers,
Ellie
weirdelf
Thu, 2017-05-18 08:46
So, we were friends
now you think you are the god of free speech.
Whatever your grudge is, express it to Neopoet, not pretending it is poetry.
I don't know how you got so cranky, you could express it by standing for AC instead of being such a sniping victim.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
BettyBuff
Thu, 2017-05-18 13:08
Opinions
Thank you for your opinion.
I read a book recently by Simon Toyne, a Sunday Times bestseller called 'Sanctus'...it's a conspiracy thriller...a monk throws himself off a mountain from the highest citadel in the world as a sign of defiance. It popped into my head after your particularly personal attack...as the theme of purging, bullying elites is woven into a serious comment on how we would react to a resurrection.
I feel Neopoet could do with a resurrection and i have made my views known to members of the AC.
All experience is grist to the mill of creativity...even you should understand that.
I am not a victim.
You are not a friend.
You never were.
BettyBuff
Thu, 2017-05-18 13:10
Thank you...
Please read my comments made in reply to Jess...
I appreciate your feedback.
Yes, it's in draft...and too short...but it takes me ages to re-work, so it's saying in it's present form for the foreseeable future.
I want to develop other themes, but not necessarily on this site.
Cheers,
Ellie
Esker
Fri, 2017-05-19 00:09
excellent
to be on the level of villan is to be one
the bend as is expressed here is that fold
perhaps those that are like card tables
are not the solid oak ..birch..maple
i sat at.and Ive been called and went
to a few..serious enough moments then
we need not be slinkies for the vicious
nor bored entertainments
astute work Betty
my whole day has been with the proud
and not haute
leaders...solid people
they were not proud to have beaten
up the trolls
nor on a soapbox..these are busy
talented and unafraid people
who equally are not jealous of
others ...
you have a pleasant strong
writing voice
always enjoyed your works
like my friends of past few
days....this is keeping with
that same theme...
Thank U BettyBuff
Steven!
scribbler
Fri, 2017-05-19 09:41
Hmmmm......
I read this and thought it could as easily be about the dem party and its admonishions that everybody toe their philosophical line as a rant about critique here on site. I'm not going to get into an argument about critique because those who don't want it can easily click on the "moderate critique button when posting.
I enjoyed your poem even though I usually don't like such a "vertical" form.........stan