Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Dance Free - re posted

Submitted by mand on Fri, 2010-12-10 04:09

A dancing figure draped in cobwebs
Rusty on the shelf
Corroded in dark reflection
Forlorn by itself.

Paralyzed in shadows curtain
lost distractions held
Emerged by love a trace of light
Slowly gears un-weld.

Cold mechanics grinding into life
Creaking painful tears
Increasing speed and brilliance
Overcoming fears.

Illuminated eerie spectres
Melting in the blues
A catherine-wheel of particles
splashing coloured hues.

Enlivened, tumbling cogs and wheels
Burnished by desire
At last the figure dances free
dressed in gold attire.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

mand

Fri, 2010-12-10 11:36

mand's picture
Volunteer badge

Reviving to live life again.

Hey thanks for reading and commenting,

Loads of love

Mand xxxxxxxx

author comment

Nordic cloud

Fri, 2010-12-10 14:56

Nordic cloud's picture

Oh my gosh what a figure breaking free
of all its burnt forging birth machines,
free floating as light as a cobweb,
suddenly given life.

Dance Mand dance,
Ann with love.

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

mand

Fri, 2010-12-10 15:18

mand's picture
Volunteer badge

Soo good to hear from you. Hope you're o.k!! Cold in Norway? and beautiful, I'll get round to reading some of your poems soon.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Loads of love

Mand xxxxxxxxxx

author comment

mand

Tue, 2010-12-14 04:06

mand's picture
Volunteer badge

I appreciate your coming by to read and comment. It's always nice to see you.

Keep safe my friend

Love Mand xxxxxxxxx

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.