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cosmic love

entwined colours
dampen the sky with stars
as we are ready to set off
our cosmic journey
to meet our celestial bodies,

our beloved ones.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I really enjoyed the heart of this poem. Some of your language use "dampen the sky with stars" is very beautiful and elevates this piece. Personally celestial bodies didn't work for me or at least, it took away from the intensity you set up in the opening lines very well. Simply my opinion though and again, very beautiful poem.

Warm Regards,

Nicholas.

Thank you, Nicholas! Happy Holidays!

author comment

The title 'cosmic love' would have been changed. Cosmic love would better use in the line of the poem that being a title. I do not find it fitted based on the theme of the verse.

I guess, you're referring to our final journey here on earth. A kind of rapture where all and sundry would be caught up in the cloud☁️.
At the end those whom we missed that died would be an ample opportunity for us to see again in the kingdom of God.

Apt and deep.
Solid verse!

Onyinyechi Cosmos

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