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CAUGHT BETWEEN

Submitted by Bonitaj on Fri, 2010-11-05 14:11

The cracks of longing
and the tears of goodbye

The pain of losing
and the need not to cry

The realisation of loss great enough
to make you want to die

The dumbing down of knowing
that love has passed you by...

BB 5 November, '10

TITLE TAKEN FROM A SONG BY TOTO

Style / type: 
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back

Comments

lou

Fri, 2010-11-05 22:30

lou's picture

Bitter sweet perfection.

Lou. Xx

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

judyanne

Sat, 2010-11-06 00:55

judyanne's picture
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how i can relate

just the line 'enormous enough to die' threw me a little
can you think of another way to say this?
perhaps:
'The realisation of enormous loss
enough for one to want to die'

love judy
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

Bonitaj

Sun, 2010-11-07 16:00

Bonitaj's picture
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Nice to see you all again! Judy - keen eye there... I edited it as best I could. Not ideal, but just a slip of a poem anyway!
CHeers
Boni

Bonitaj

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