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MOVED

Submitted by Bonitaj on Fri, 2013-01-11 16:30

He touched me
As none before -
past
roughshod whispers
to a visceral core
gossamer touch,
feather-like gored
had me always yearning, hoping,
begging -
for more.
 
 

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Bonitaj

Sat, 2013-01-12 03:53

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thanks for taking this "to the next level" ;)
Would you believe that this "touching" is not literal, but perhaps more profound because of it!
Thanks for stopping by!

Bonitaj

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Seren

Sat, 2013-01-12 05:17

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I really was moved you conveyed the touch without touch so well, I seriously cant see anything I would change its a wonderful poem, its lovely to see you back and read you again

Brava Chicka

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Bonitaj

Sat, 2013-01-12 08:22

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I'm convinced it's a "gal thing". This ability to touch and be touched without touching.... ;)
Cheers

Bonitaj

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sueb

Sat, 2013-01-12 11:25

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beautiful x

Bonitaj

Sat, 2013-01-12 13:18

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for stopping by to comment!

Bonitaj

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Frenchf

Sat, 2013-01-12 16:03

Feather-like?
That's how I read it in physicality. Great write

Bonitaj

Sun, 2013-01-13 10:26

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nice to meet you. There is a hyphen here if that's what you mean, and yes, I can see why one could intrepret it literally! That's why I like it a lot too, because it can be interpreted on both levels.
Thanks for reading... I will stop by and look at your work as soon as time permits.

Bonitaj

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Frenchf

Mon, 2013-01-14 19:11

Bonita reminds me of a doll

Bonitaj

Wed, 2013-01-30 05:09

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HE touched me, so I live to know
That such a day, permitted so,
I groped upon his breast.
It was a boundless place to me,
And silenced, as the awful sea
Puts minor streams to rest.

EMILY DICKENSON

I think just to contextualize this piece in a more metaphorical sense, who else would give the theme better justice than Dickenson herself!

Bonitaj

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