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MOVED
He touched me
As none before -
past
roughshod whispers
to a visceral core
gossamer touch,
feather-like gored
had me always yearning, hoping,
begging -
for more.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Bonitaj
Sat, 2013-01-12 03:53
Hah Eph!
thanks for taking this "to the next level" ;)
Would you believe that this "touching" is not literal, but perhaps more profound because of it!
Thanks for stopping by!
Bonitaj
Seren
Sat, 2013-01-12 05:17
ello Boni
I really was moved you conveyed the touch without touch so well, I seriously cant see anything I would change its a wonderful poem, its lovely to see you back and read you again
Brava Chicka
love JC xxx
"My head is broken but unbowed" - William Ernest Henley
Bonitaj
Sat, 2013-01-12 08:22
Thanks luv!
I'm convinced it's a "gal thing". This ability to touch and be touched without touching.... ;)
Cheers
Bonitaj
sueb
Sat, 2013-01-12 11:25
beautiful x
beautiful x
Bonitaj
Sat, 2013-01-12 13:18
Thanks!
for stopping by to comment!
Bonitaj
Frenchf
Sat, 2013-01-12 16:03
Was their a comma
Feather-like?
That's how I read it in physicality. Great write
Bonitaj
Sun, 2013-01-13 10:26
Hello Frenchf!
nice to meet you. There is a hyphen here if that's what you mean, and yes, I can see why one could intrepret it literally! That's why I like it a lot too, because it can be interpreted on both levels.
Thanks for reading... I will stop by and look at your work as soon as time permits.
Bonitaj
Frenchf
Mon, 2013-01-14 19:11
Love your amazing photo and name
Bonita reminds me of a doll
Bonitaj
Wed, 2013-01-30 05:09
HE TOUCHED ME.
HE touched me, so I live to know
That such a day, permitted so,
I groped upon his breast.
It was a boundless place to me,
And silenced, as the awful sea
Puts minor streams to rest.
EMILY DICKENSON
I think just to contextualize this piece in a more metaphorical sense, who else would give the theme better justice than Dickenson herself!
Bonitaj