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MOVED

Submitted by Bonitaj on Fri, 2013-01-11 16:30

He touched me
As none before -
past
roughshod whispers
to a visceral core
gossamer touch,
feather-like gored
had me always yearning, hoping,
begging -
for more.
 
 

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Bonitaj

Sat, 2013-01-12 03:53

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thanks for taking this "to the next level" ;)
Would you believe that this "touching" is not literal, but perhaps more profound because of it!
Thanks for stopping by!

Bonitaj

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Serendipity

Sat, 2013-01-12 05:17

Serendipity's picture

I really was moved you conveyed the touch without touch so well, I seriously cant see anything I would change its a wonderful poem, its lovely to see you back and read you again

Brava Chicka

love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Bonitaj

Sat, 2013-01-12 08:22

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I'm convinced it's a "gal thing". This ability to touch and be touched without touching.... ;)
Cheers

Bonitaj

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sueb

Sat, 2013-01-12 11:25

sueb's picture

beautiful x

Bonitaj

Sat, 2013-01-12 13:18

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for stopping by to comment!

Bonitaj

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Frenchf

Sat, 2013-01-12 16:03

Feather-like?
That's how I read it in physicality. Great write

Bonitaj

Sun, 2013-01-13 10:26

Bonitaj's picture
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nice to meet you. There is a hyphen here if that's what you mean, and yes, I can see why one could intrepret it literally! That's why I like it a lot too, because it can be interpreted on both levels.
Thanks for reading... I will stop by and look at your work as soon as time permits.

Bonitaj

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Frenchf

Mon, 2013-01-14 19:11

Bonita reminds me of a doll

Bonitaj

Wed, 2013-01-30 05:09

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HE touched me, so I live to know
That such a day, permitted so,
I groped upon his breast.
It was a boundless place to me,
And silenced, as the awful sea
Puts minor streams to rest.

EMILY DICKENSON

I think just to contextualize this piece in a more metaphorical sense, who else would give the theme better justice than Dickenson herself!

Bonitaj

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