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He is North,
long, far up and cold
She, South,
sultry, sanguine and bold

the terrain is rough
none dare enter
He, tossing a
and wishing for adventure

Bored, recalcitrant even spiteful
Life has handed him jokers
and many other causes-
Lost. Unmindful of his hurt
His need. His lonely longing.

He seeks a sweet spot
on the chart, a direction
to follow his heart -
but he is surrounded by mind maps
drawn in the sand
Atlas has shrugged him off
there is nowhere to take a stand
or grasp -

that upper hand.

28 Nov. '11

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 


layer on layer.
Biography or condemnation?
Empathy or entropy?
The poor bastard, I relate to him.

But wish to know more about her.

In verse 3 the line
and many other causes-
feels a bit weak, also unclear causes to uphold or causes 'excuses'?

I also worry about any reference to that stupid, psycho right-wing anarchist bitch Ayn Rand, but I don't think that was the Atlas Shrugged you referred to, was it? Him making more victim excuses?

I like this poem, fairly loose rhyme and meter structure, and that it made me think and wonder.

and that last line stands beautifully, 'ware the seeker of the upper hand.

A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'

how sweet your critique is! This was dedicated to someone I know and just flowed from my pen. Re-reading it, plus the lack of comments, made me concerned that it was missing the mark, although it obviously made sense to me! ;)
I appreciate you picking up the ambiguity around " causes". I just assumed it implied "lost causes". but I'll take another look at it. And no! I wasn't referring to Anne Rynd so you're safe!
Thanks again!

Ps. Title comes from a book by Arundhati Roy who also wrote "GOD OF LITTLE THINGS"


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