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the bequest (to my grandson)

.

a wondrous favour bestowed on me

a gem that shone in life's waters

Heaven, for her own reasons

on a sorrow-filled day

took my gift away

but not before

he'd found love

and made

you

.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
nonet..... a poem of nine lines, the first line has nine syllables, the next eight, then seven, six and so on to one.....
Editing stage: 

Comments

simple and beautiful expression ..

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

Thank you very much for the read and kind comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

It's been long since I wrote a nonet.
This is nice. He must be happy to receive such a tender gift

But not sure about the syllable count in the first line. I thought they are ten where they should be nine?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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i count it :
a won -drous fav -our be -stowed on me
how do you?

thannks for the kind comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I thought it is [wuhn-druh s]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

that dipthong thing again - i'm taking it that, as it is only counts as a third of a beat, it's not countable as a full syllable - I think we can play with that a bit ... it seems at the end of a sentence I want to drag the sound of dipthong-ending words out a bit - so could count it there - but I say them without needing another beat for the s or r or what ever the ending when they are within a sentence...it depends on how it sounds when we break the rules as to whether it is passable....

and i can sing 'wondrous' with two notes
thanks Rula
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

I just thought these forms are very sensitive when it comes to the syllable count.
Just thought I would mention it anyway.
We can avoid such deceiving words when it all depends on the syllable count, can't we?

What do you think dear?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

Haven't seen one in a while.

(not to be confused with "concrete" poetry)

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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thanks for the read and comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment
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