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The Antithesis (a quatern) March Contest

The difference ‘twixt the comment and critique
is thought by some as trivial at best.
Both natterings delivered with some cheek
comparing hard won art to all the rest.

Midmost though there’s abundance to be found.
The difference ‘twixt the comment and critique
presents a bifurcation nigh profound,
for one is depth, the other rather weak.

A comment is didactics dealt oblique.
A self indulgent practice that inflates
the difference ‘twixt the comment and critique.
Analysis, our skill and ken donates.

Opinions allocated for no cause
are aids, but teach me nothing that I seek.
So ponder then, the next time pen takes pause,
the difference ‘twixt the comment and critique.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

the contest rules state that a quatern has eight syllables per verse - and even though I think it is great with 10, and I have written them that way myself, I'm not sure that the judge won't penalise you

awesome write just the same
the refrain fits well into the flow of each stanza
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

I am old enough to have forgotten how to count syllables but a spring chicken like you has no excuse lol. 8 syllables per line is what contest calls for. I've not actually researched qua terns so I can't say if in general more or less are permitted but 8 is the rule for this contest.
One word at least MUST be saved in edit : Midmost..........stan

It is an older poem that I just knew I had hanging around. I told Stan I couldn't write one in two weeks, so I thought I'd at least give an entry to look at. When I wrote it I didn't know the eight thing.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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author comment

You should find it quite easy to edit this, by mostly dropping words... I can see only a few verses where you might have to find a different word or two
That is, if it doesn't feel as if you are destroying this write
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

I think this is a very competent entery on many levels. I hope you'd consider doing the modifications required though I can't see how could any fair judge panallise you for a better work.
all the best wishes.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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since the form can be done in free verse or blank verse it should be fairly easy to prune 2 words per line. The form doesn't require even meter.......stan

With a few chopping of words, as all before me have suggested this would be a great quatern. It would be interesting how you use the chopper. This contest is surely going to be tough for the judge since all four contestants Judyanne, Ian, Rula and Wesley thus far belong to the top league...

best wishes to all,

raj (sublime_ocean)

but it boggles my mind to try and figure it out. The poem is old and not precious, just a commentary on the differences between us commenting (which is generally useless) and critiquing (which is helpful). At the time I barely understood quatern and obviously got a batch of bad information.
I'm still gung ho about critiquing over commenting, just not as vocal I guess.
I'll just let this one be another commentary and leave it at that.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

author comment

classicist as always.. lovely writ and epigram

Unfortunately I don't qualify.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

author comment

the divide twixt comment and critique
thought by some as minor at best
yet both are given with some cheek
comparing true art to the rest

Just showing it Cab be done with a bit of thought so stop making excuses and get to editing lol.......stan

That's a completely different poem. I can make corrections, but not wholesale alterations. I might as well start over... it's easier.
I think I'll just leave it as is and withdraw from the judging.
At least someone read the thing.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

author comment
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