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Amtrak NJ Transit (Where The Conductors Wear Blue Hats)

We stopped at Yonkers.

I couldn't see the water anymore once we reached the platform
But I could see a man looking out his window
He was talking on the phone
I think it might have been his brother
I didn't feel very good
Maybe it was the terrible coffee
It wasn't really terrible it just needed sugar
My stomach rolled and i was starting to get confused
I thought of how badly i missed you as i always do
How much i'd rather be drinking you instead of kissing this coffee
Then i found this blue pen on the seat next to me
And I wrote this down while watching my coffee migrate across a tray table
And for a moment i forgot about punctuation
and i didn't care because the
bridge looks so pretty in the
fog and i remembered
how she loves my run on
sentences and how one
letter S always has to hide
in the closet but we will
get better and we will pull
through and i realized
that flying is like kissing
you from a great height
and just a second before
you hit the ground you
remember you can fall

or just say stop

stop

but the train kept spinning
and my head kept rolling on.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Last few words: 
a little crazy poem
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Comments

The trick is not remembering you can fall, or at least that you will probably bounce.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

i tried to carry through a theme of confusion; hence the mixed up verbs. i was hoping it would build and get worse throughout but i'm not sure how well that worked :/ maybe i'll get back to this one. eventually :P

thanks,
mag

author comment

it is the key to my life motto, borrowed from the '70s Japanese series "Monkey"
The nature of Jess is irrepressible.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

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