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" Aberfan"
Aberfan.
L
-A
--N
---D
----S
-----L
------I
-------D
--------E
----------angle of repose.
---------------------------wishing
------------------------------------wishing
-------------------------------------------wishing;
--------------------------------------------------children wore Sunday clothes.
Obi.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Mon, 2023-07-24 18:10
Neopoet AI 5-29-23 version
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Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
Geezer
Mon, 2023-07-24 12:17
What a...
remarkable piece of formatting! Not sure of the meaning of wishing that children wore Sunday clothes.
~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Obadiah Grey
Mon, 2023-07-24 12:22
Hiya, Geez.
Hiya, Geez.
Easiest way to understand the meaning is to Google,,,, Aberfan. Mate...
Cheers, Obi.
author commentGeezer
Mon, 2023-07-24 12:49
I get it now...
Had they been in Sunday clothes, they might have been home or at church. ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Triskelion
Tue, 2023-07-25 19:14
Need to..
..agree with Geezer, the formatting is an eye-catcher. Just read a bit on the event. Tragic in the least...can't even imagine the horror. That's all I got on that...hmm.. and I always thought you were shallow.
Cheers!
Thomas
.
.
...so like my lost dreams...the flood
Lavender
Mon, 2023-07-24 16:00
Aberfan
Well done, Obi.
L
Ruby Lord
Tue, 2023-07-25 06:25
Oh, Obi, I don't what to say
Oh, Obi, I don't know what to say but this?
It was fantastic because of its simplicity and its representation on the screen/paper.
I don't remember the incident but I have learned of it and seen lots of footage and pictures.
Heartbreaking incident. You're one clever bloke and not as sombre as I supposed.
Well done brilliant yet devastating. Ruby ;) xx
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Alex Tanner
Tue, 2023-07-25 10:50
aberfan
How well I remember that awful day. Beautifully put Obi, if beautiful can be used to describe such horrifying events. Alex
Obadiah Grey
Wed, 2023-07-26 12:03
Geez, Thomas, Lav, Ruby, Alex
Geez, Thomas, Lav, Ruby, Alex.
I like and admire the formatting too.
If I'm honest with myself, the content does not do justice to the deed so to speak,
and, I feel its sadly lacking poetic clout.
Thanks for the comments chaps,,, Its well received.
Obi
author commentLavender
Wed, 2023-07-26 12:11
Obi,
I can only tell you how it made (makes) me feel. Great poetry, and so well done.
L
Ruby Lord
Wed, 2023-07-26 14:07
Like others I can only say
Like others I can only say how it made me feel. To create that emotion on paper, the poet must get it right. You did. Ruby :)
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Triskelion
Wed, 2023-07-26 18:44
Well....
it can be a sensitive subject, depending on the person's relationship with the event...didn't want to go there with you, so there it is. It's the simplicity of your piece that leaves a lot open (speaking as a life-worn individual)...like I said...I doubt any poet could do the event justice.
Cheers, Obi.
Thomas
.
.
...so like my lost dreams...the flood
Triskelion
Sat, 2023-08-05 06:37
I guess I should add
...I commend you for not trying to get into specifics of the tragedy.
Thomas
.
.
...so like my lost dreams...the flood
Ruby Lord
Sat, 2023-10-21 14:25
Hi Obi, today is the 57th
Hi Obi, today is the 57th anniversary of Aberfan. Ruby :)
Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.
Leslie
Sat, 2024-02-10 13:28
Obi...
Sounds like somebody died? Is this true, or no?
The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!