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Ma'h Boots.

Submitted by Obadiah Grey on Fri, 2023-04-21 11:23

"- M’ha boots -"

A blind gal stole m’ah boots today
jus' up n carried dem away ,,,,,, “musta bin blind !”

A’h was drunk a’h guess
a’h musta bin
was outta m’ah head
on moonshine gin,

A’h was Laid in ‘d gutter
a honkin down
when th’ gal crept up
a thief renown,
She had dem away on her dam toes
jus' m’ah luck
a’h do suppose, ,,,,“musta bin blind !,, She musta bin !”

D’a boots were nearly
ten year old
JEEYZUS man d’ey were
covered in mould, !!
m’ah toe poked out
d’a left hand boot
n made m’a feet stink
like - an old cheroot,

A’h guess she was no sweet south belle,

But she sure was blind-
whid no sense ‘o smell.

Obadiah,,,,, Grey.

Last few words: 
Oh, ya know !!!
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Fri, 2023-04-21 11:23

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The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

This poem, titled "Ma'h Boots," presents a humorous and somewhat absurd narrative of a blind woman stealing the speaker's old, moldy boots while he was drunk and passed out in the gutter. The use of non-standard English adds to the rustic, colloquial tone of the poem.

One potential line edit could be to add punctuation to the phrase "covered in mould" to make it read "covered in mould!" which would emphasize the speaker's revulsion at the state of his boots.

Overall, while the poem has a certain charm in its folksy storytelling and use of dialect, it lacks depth and substance beyond its surface-level humor. The abrupt ending leaves the reader with little to ponder or reflect upon. Additionally, the poem's use of dialect may be difficult for some readers to understand, detracting from its accessibility.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Obadiah Grey

Fri, 2023-04-21 11:45

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I'll take that !!!!

Obi.

author comment

Ruby Lord

Fri, 2023-04-21 13:18

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Shame AI doesn't understand the use of dialect in the UK where it is the subject of humour and romance, obviously not Obi's romance. The women can't see or smell him :) I enjoyed your poem.

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

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