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no title, yet

I’m blinded by Earths waking
Our sleeping giant
Has lain content for decades
Lately, it seems, she’s aching
The need to stretch her limbs:
Invades, persuades, cascades;
The rippling effect spreads
Like notes from an ancient hymn
We may close our eyes,
Block the site of mayhem,
Yet the sound of weeping
will still seep into our ears.

©Tonya Greenless

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
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Editing stage: 


Hello! It is nice to see you here. A very nice piece you have written. I like these lines:

We may close our eyes,
Block the site of mayhem,
Yet the sound of weeping
will still seep into our ears.

For a title suggestion: Awakening, Nature's Urging, Emergence,stirring slumber.

Other than that I have no suggestions, only appreciation for the work.

Always, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I had a picture in my head as i read this, of Earth stretching and shaking off water like a dog. Great poem and very apt, as we see the destruction reaped when Earth does move. For me the title could be Awakening the Notes, or Earth sounds, Faults Noted. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

At the risk of being told by the comment police, that i'm just saying your poem is pretty. I really enjoyed this one and i can't find anything that i would change.

love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

You make me wonder what all has gone under the bridge since my abscense?
Thank you, very much.

:) Tonya

author comment

Well-written piece, Tonya. Mother Earth is striking back at all the abuse she's had to endure from humankind. I can't think of a title, but I fancy Cat's "Emergence".

Well done

you have captured the phenomenon of the tsunami and its after effects in this write...a few have suggested "Awakening" as a possible title...

i would suggest "convulsion" because your write is not just about awakening but stretches beyond that to capture the after effects...

anyways i will look forward with interest to see what title you ultimately come up with...

raj (sublime_ocean)

So good to see you again. Title suggestion : Nap's End; I have but one suggestion on this very descriptive write. You could consider : Like broken notes from an ancient hymn.............................scribbler

Every post is very important to me. There's a lot of things around home that seems to need my immediate attention, but i look forward to getting back into the thick of things here at Neo too.

It feels good to be back! And back home! Has been several months it seems, since I have even tried to take time to write some whiff of thought down on paper.

I'm still thinking on a title..I love the input and all comments. I do like the idea of broken notes, but, to me, Mother Natute, Earth, Our home ... (all the same) is not really broken at all, just another step with her ever evolving nature. I can not say man has had that much of an inpact....Are we that strong to impact the massiveness of Earth? or are we but insignifican ants upon the vastness of her surface? My mind has not totally been convinced we matter that much. More of a more complicated, slightly more sophisticated animal? lol, and even with that thought, I have to say many of the animals are much smarter and intuitive.

Much love to you all..Thank you.
As Always,

author comment

I appreciate your commentary about the theme of this write and your perception about human kind vis a vis certainly is able to relate to how miniscule we are when say for instance when we confront the magnificent ocean.....or look up to the skydome....

you have now made me even more curious to see the title which you will choose for this fine write...

much love..

raj (sublime_ocean)

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