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WHY WE CRY

Something happened to the red lonely bird
Amongst the tall trees of Akai woodland
The bush frightens him deep to the marrow
Something happened, that is why he whimpers
All night long, he hollered, doo-doo, doo-doo

Among the dwellers of Isale Eko
At night men stay indoors because of fear
Crime escalates and the policemen harass
Something happened, that is why they bawl
Night fear wears toga and parades the streets

See the politicians living with us
They amble on roads coated with black gold
Those who voted them in walk the squalor
Something happened, that is why we shed tears
In decrepit huts, we live in quandary

Down the creeks and swamps of Niger delta
Spillage destroys crops and aquatic life
Masked men meander with automatic guns
Kidnap and kill unsuspecting victims
Something happened; you can see why we weep

Militants make case for resource control
Ransom, the fallout of greed for the crude
We suffer because no one seems to cares
Abject poverty has come down on us
Something happened here, that is why we cry

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 

Comments

One for your history books of feelings during situations, now if we take out the actual history bits and just write on the feelings of being lost squalor and mistrust then it will equate with many people in the world not to be just pined to one country, on this one write both types one on local feelings and another just using the feelings that you have no matter what brings them on. Hope you understand what I am saying I love the history and stories from your land but would love to see intence feelings that we all can have also, Yours Ian.T

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