Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Moonlight memories

Tok-odio-dioooo! Summoned the troupe
Responses came like echoes
Playgrounds witnessed get-togethers
In praise of the Great Architect
For the gift of moon and her light

Stories of tortoise in exploits
Brave lion caught in his greed
Smart wise saying had their leads
Lessons of the ages embedded in them
Convention of healthy culture preserved

Moonlight games came in various shades
Dancers mimicked natives’ foibles
In marriage and rites of passage
Hunters tagged on their projectiles
Came back with ecstatic welcome

Tortoise has his plentiful pranks
Elephant in a tug of war
With Hippo tied at the far end
Socked by verve of the undersized
Impostors are all around us

Moon shines in luminous glory
Parks are empty without a call
Kids and elders are now indoors
Cyber world, virtual reality
Array set for latest values

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


I hear there's a website in Japan that one can go to and hire a friend to go to coffee or a movie, or just spend time with.... what has it come to, this virtual world. Do peaple live so much on the internet they have no real friends --- it's happened in Japan first, i guess because they are the virtual leaders.... i did hear, not officially, that there's one now in -Australia

i might add though, that the social and political climate of today, has the need for kids being home at least after dark (but, sadly, in many places, at all times).

great poem, the meter a bit choppy to my ear, but great blank verse - hard to write and still sound musical. And great sentiment...

love judy

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

(c) No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.