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Alpha Delta Kilo
Zero fivers three
Requesting for start up
Start up approved
Ready for take off
In position cleared
Take off runway two-two
Departure right on course

Control tower print out published
Brought sad memoirs of the inferno
Nom de plume reduced to ashes
Mocked our mean attempt to excel
Queried the way we do things here
I look back at the disasters
I see the elusive hand of fate
A decade of recycled woes

The tears are dried from long crying
The hand of time did not turn back
I moaned for the departed spirits
Cover ups undermined the loss
Airline sacrificed as Scapegoat
Like Christ, crucified on the cross
Liquidated to appease the gods
The political godfathers

Alpha Delta Kilo
Zero five three
Touch down, not requested
Tower drew blank from gusty wind
No distress call and no May Day
It banked north and then took a dive
Exploding into nothingness
Querying the loss lives and jobs
Roger, over and out

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 


I found this write to be dry, almost clinical thereby
lacking in the impact I'm sure you were going for.
Content is strong, a worldwide concern, make it
a personal experience for your readers.

I appreciate your comments, I have written a few pieces on this subject. They include 'A crash too many', 'Crash site' 'August 18' among others. In this piece, I tried to reflect on the insecurity in Business and of jobs. It also reflects on a negative ethno-political sentiment on the economy. The adherence to Control Tower exchange points to the most volatile sector of our economy I have witnessed. I need your suggestions on how I can turn the piece around to reflect not just a personal encounter, but a national or global tragedy of human waste.

Thank you and best wishes.


A rekindled faith - Dancing in the Light

author comment

The way I read this was it related to one or more
actual planes ... are you saying this was meant as
a metaphor?

The first stanza; in my opinion adds nothing to your
poem. I see what you were going for, the ending to
be very strong with the "Roger, over and out."

Unsure as to how to help, I'd have to know more of
the story to offer anything of value but you could do
that yourself.

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