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curtain call

Submitted by judyanne on Wed, 2012-06-06 07:06

the theatre dual
company of mind in body
presents

between origin of
cradle
grave

act one
to experience

heart, art
and fair play
work excellence
love

lust
war, destruction
injustice, hunger
hate, fear

and faith
or lack thereof

free
will
be
no charge

note

critical analysis has been varied
dependent on seating position
.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Nordic cloud

Wed, 2012-06-06 11:07

Nordic cloud's picture

"note

critical analysis has been varied
dependent on seating position"

This made me laugh judyanne, you have covered all
in this tumble of life down the page of our minds,
a new form for you I think, as it was for me.
Not easy to know how much to leave out
and how much to keep is it?

Yes life is indeed a stage as the Bard said.
So exciting and frightening at times, calm at others.

And yours is free:-
"free
will
be
no charge"

Smile and H from annanya

"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.

judyanne

Fri, 2012-06-08 13:11

judyanne's picture
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glad you got a laugh
love and hugs
judyanne
xxxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

themoonman

Wed, 2012-06-06 16:40

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I love this !!!

judyanne

Fri, 2012-06-08 13:12

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thank you richard
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Rula

Thu, 2012-06-07 03:22

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it is an intriguing title .
No critic in fact but curious to know why you've made those breaks. I always thought we need them to make it easier to read which you don't really need here especially

act one
to experience

heart, art
and fair play
work excellence
love

lust
war, destruction
injustice, hunger
hate, fear

unless i am missing something . I do really like to learn..

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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judyanne

Fri, 2012-06-08 13:21

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it is more than just ‘making it easier to read’
to my understanding
one of the purposes of the line breaks and stanzas of fee verse is to separate the thoughts of the theme, to make the reader pause and take in the thought before moving to the next

so i broke the lines and the stanzas to try to have the reader pause at them

and also to try to have it sound as an advertiser would call customers to the show ...

thanks very much for rhe read and comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

believe

Thu, 2012-06-07 06:52

believe's picture

I like the way this is detailed and precise,
ALL the makings for a life in Life or on stage

I Like

judyanne

Fri, 2012-06-08 13:22

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thank you very much for the very kind comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

loved

Sat, 2012-06-09 04:05

loved's picture

I scanned down in haste
to read act two
sad there was none
perhaps some day
you may

but how glad i am
you keep many hearts at bay
a Piscean trait
so to say

loved

judyanne

Wed, 2012-06-20 04:31

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lol - act 2 is for another poem xx

thanks for the great comments
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Ian.T

Sat, 2012-06-09 04:11

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The seven ages of man, scattered to the four winds and reassembled with fewer words.
There's Loved waiting for the "second act" we best keep that as a surprise for later lol.
Grand fractured write, where are you in this act, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

judyanne

Wed, 2012-06-20 04:32

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lol - loved will be waiting a while for act 2 i think
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Candlewitch

Tue, 2012-06-12 10:53

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I loved this! A little bit different style for you, but it has your finger prints all over it! The title is appropriate. Thanks for the big smile you gave me! I cannot choose favorite lines as they are inseperable!

love, Cat (& eddy)

p.s.

still sick :( am I

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

loved

Sun, 2012-06-17 05:45

loved's picture

Please do comment on my challenge poem

The seed..

it has no ''I ''///''ME'' element
many advised on my poem
CRITIQUE
U MISSED it

loved

judyanne

Wed, 2012-06-20 04:35

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that's naughy
i will try to get to your write, but you shouldn't solicit us :)
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Candlewitch

Tue, 2012-06-19 11:07

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I just came by to see your wonderful writings. I notice you haven't posted in awhile. I hope you are well. I am slowly getting over my illness.

love, Cat (& eddy)

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

judyanne

Wed, 2012-06-20 04:34

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thank you for the lovely comments and for caring where and how i am -
i am ok - not sick, just been very busy...
back now, with heaps to catch up on lol

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment
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