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What Flowers Do?? Catalectic dactyl
Talking to flowers for even a while,
makes you so happy and draws on a smile,
warms up your day with a very good start and
always fulfills with a sweetness your heart.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
wesley snow
Sun, 2017-05-07 18:01
The last verse has trouble.
The rest works.
"always fulfills with "a" sweetness your heart".
How is that?
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Rula
Mon, 2017-05-08 02:37
spot on
thank you sir.
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Esker
Sun, 2017-05-14 18:17
i believe truths
i bought my mother flowers
even with the lovehate
and i planted them
and I tend them
I dont mind tire kickers
but they never get their
hands dirty
my nails are dirty from
risks
and other
show me the hands
no calluses no dirt
no love no risk
liars.....
thanks for this truth
Rula1
mr dug in living it wolfie..
Rula
Tue, 2017-05-23 02:06
Thank you
For the kind visit and the comment. Wolf
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Esker
Tue, 2017-05-23 02:16
Perhaps it is thus Theorem to the quark of Luck
spake to persophones ghost
the flower of flax
in lilac breath
Sitting still
and I the image
of my host
reflect
an image of the dell
the grieving pain of
madness dwell
fair flower
neath same sky
she gentle speaks
gently weeps
the petals of the pain
like jazz brush drummer
hiss of springs still
chilled cool rains
arising heat of
the need for survival
Climbing for the sun
this day
is yet
not done
(old muse on admiring
the admiring flower)
just been through a lot
and some new muse
has arrived
and yes
Take time to Love the flowers
Mr Wolf
(for mr esker)
weirdelf
Mon, 2017-07-03 13:36
Catalectic dactyl spoils the gentle continuance of Dactyl to me.
I's valid, it has its purpose, but not for me.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
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wesley snow
Tue, 2017-07-11 09:03
I don't have a problem with the catalectics as long as they're
consistent. Good dactyl. Amazing how far you've come. No, not amazing. Natural. You have become a very good and functional poet.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about