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Where are the lights
A December winter night in this country
and my neighbors hadn’t their boundary
with Christmas trees or Christmas lights,
in past years did shine bright.
I had been feeling well
and went out for a spell
to drive my boy to work on time.
the frowns on colleagues face had his pride.
Its been a while since I drove
my Cheverolet Aveo on the road,
but my eyes had been clear
and in my body, I had no fear.
On the way home I picked up from work
the man I call a spouse.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Esker
Fri, 2014-12-05 12:44
stylized
a lulling talkative narrative
with vivid scene
a quilt of touches
to make the whole
a feel of it upon reading
Thank You Barbara!
Esker
Fri, 2014-12-05 15:38
Quality
I very much like the realism in your recent works
the polish more
the flow of a read coming forth
a gem
Thank You!
Barbara Writes
Sat, 2014-12-06 00:58
Esker
Thanks for the read and the crit. I really wanted this one two be felt by the reader. Glad it worked. The workshop are really helping me
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
wesley snow
Fri, 2014-12-05 15:32
I agree.
The imagery is clear. It is rather cold, but I feel that's intentional. Things are not rosy in Mayberry. It's a little different from your other poems, is it not?
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Barbara Writes
Sat, 2014-12-06 01:05
Wesley
Yeah its a bit different. I'm feeling a new way of writing. The worshops are helping me to come out of my comfort zone. Thanks tor the critique. I really was trying to write a picture like a artist draws a sketch. Im glad it worked and came out crystal clear. I can be a cold one at times. I'm in a mood lol. But not for long. Hope to write some good poetry while there. Lol.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
wesley snow
Sat, 2014-12-06 18:04
What you described,
attempting to paint a picture in your poem is known as Romanticism.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Barbara Writes
Sun, 2014-12-07 02:34
Wesley
Romanism is a new term for me though I've heard of it. Guess Ill research it for more understanding n
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community
wesley snow
Sun, 2014-12-07 15:49
The romantic period began around the late 18th century
and characterized art throughout the 19th. It concerned itself with the plight of the common man in relation to nature and the natural world. Previously, in the baroque period it was all about the monarchy, the nobility. Romanticism was all about the artist being an individual instead of being sponsored by a nobleman. Hence, the image of the starving writer still plying his art.
One of the new styles of the romantic period was to attempt to write poetry, music, painting and more that actually expressed the emotion of the subject matter.
Beethoven wrote "The Tempest" in an attempt to express the beginning of Shakespeare's play of the same name.
"The Raven" by Poe makes us nervous and uncomfortable.
The romantic changed the way we produce our art and for the moment, considering what and how we write, the beginning of the romantic era still effects everything we do.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about