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The Zephyr
A silhouette,
outlined with a façade of human,
kneels quietly in the corner.
As dust gathers upon the distinction
that love was once an interlude of
ecstasy
born of flesh
it crumbles to the floor,
as the zephyr quietly
carries it away…
to an oblivious union
of madness
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Geezer
Thu, 2022-03-03 18:20
Hi Tracy...
I really like your newest post! It has a spooky feel to it. Only thing I would change is: [and] the zephyr quietly carries it away.
~ Geezer.
.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
Tracey Underwood
Fri, 2022-03-04 05:49
Thanks
I like that change. I will edit it. Thanks!
Love and light. Namaste.
Candlewitch
Fri, 2022-03-04 09:15
hey Tracey,
I love how this poem flows. the ending gave me a little chill! I really like when a poet can make me shiver! thanks for the experience!
*hugs, Cat
ever, eddy
eddy styx is my Male, malicious, murderous alter ego who writes dark poetry.
*
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Tracey Underwood
Fri, 2022-03-04 14:39
Thanks
Thank you so much! Coming from such a great poet, you have made my day.
Love and light. Namaste.
Ray Whitaker
Sat, 2022-03-05 15:49
interesting!
like this, however have a Question...
why the use of so much white space? I really like your stanza groupings.... except the middle spaced out lines. just IMO....
I would place those words like this:
ecstasy
born of flesh
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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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Tracey Underwood
Sun, 2022-03-06 11:52
Thanks!
I cant remember why I wrote it like that. I like your version. I will edit. Thank you.
Love and light. Namaste.