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Trauma

Panicking,
struggling,
choking,
drowning.

Yielding to fear,
engulfed by water,
lungs screaming for air.
Where is my savior?

One cruel prank,
haunting me for a lifetime.
Thirty years have passed,
still I'm restless in the night.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
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Editing stage: 

Comments

This is for real?

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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Wesley.

Until now I don't dare to go swimming.

Alid

author comment

some verses from the Holy Qura'an direct before sleeping ( especially Al Muawathat)must help you overcome this nightmare.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

I hope it will help me overcome not only this but another trauma. I was ashamed of it but I need to let it out, to face it, else the dark feelings will consume me. It will be in another poem.

Alid

author comment

Forgot to say that I loved the piece. Well composed.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Rula.

Alid

author comment

Your poem expresses the horrors that still haunt you in a very vivid and direct way.
I like the way you have used each word separately to emphasise them.
I like the elemental feel, air, water and the earthly, human fear.
I know the fear is a real factor in your life, but you have expressed it rather hauntingly.
Poetry has a cathartic quality, whether it is the reading of it or the writing.
Jx

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thanks for the read and comment. I wished I can get over it to stop these nightmares.I wished I can enjoy like other people but after my heart problem worsens, my dad passed away and one of my good friends drowned, I lose my courage.

I've tried several times but failed to last more than 5 minutes in the pool. Being there just triggers the memories and I'll panic.

Alid

author comment

one time. It wasn't the result of a prank, just an overestimation of my own skill.
Not a good time by any means! I I'm glad that you didn't drown and I hope that you are learning to swim now, it will relieve those nightmares. Get someone who knows about such fears to teach you how to swim. It may be a long process, but you will be the better for it. Nice work! I have no crits.

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I felt like I've done what I could and I just can't. I had an instructor once but I think he don't understand the extend of my fear when he kept pushing me deliberately into the pool and frightened me so much that I didn't stick around in his lesson. God,I really hated him! lol.

Alid

author comment

to help someone who has almost drowned! I would have you ease your way into a small waist-deep pool and let you get your face close to the water at your own speed. Little by little is the way to do it, not push you into a pool and then teach you how to swim. I'm sure that sooner or later, you will find the right teacher. Maybe a spouse or someone close to you that knows how you feel. I learned from my cousin who knew that I was terrified of going under. He helped me get over my fears and I learned to swim. [I later over-estimated my abilities and almost drowned] , but I never stopped swimming. Again, I appreciated the write. Good job.
.

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I'm glad you liked this but I'm not sure if you would like the next one. I'm going to post one or two more poems here about my past and expect them to be written in a darker shade. I need to let it out because they are affecting me too much that they made me feel angry, unable to trust people on the intimate level and many other emotions that made me miserable. I need to let go.

Alid

author comment

To Jane's comment especially the isolation of single words to add to their power. I expect only time will heal the memory of that trauma..........stan

for the visit, the read and the comment.I hope you are right because it sucks being angry.

Alid

author comment

anger is a genetic disease and unnecessary. Although, fear is healthy. Be careful, but face it. I nearly lost it once in a riptide and its ramifications are that I'm a bit afraid of swimming in the ocean. I'll likely never have the chance to face that one again as I live inland and never see the ocean. You have the chance to face this one. Take it. Take it carefully, but take it.
I look forward to more poems about your life. It seems my Ottava Rima about mine has started something. I am pleased by it.
Our lives make for powerful subject matter.
Demonstrate yours please. No matter the darkness.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
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I'll try not to disappoint but my Hari Raya is around the corner so I'll be busy for awhile.

Alid

author comment
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