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Wine Induced

On my wedding day
I hope that I can say
That love has found me in my cave
And brought me out without a cane

When my child’s bourn
I hope we won’t mourn
This love will shroud it from pain
We will raise it above the rain

As I hold your hand
As I hold your hand
We could take our stand
As love leads the way

On the day I die
Don’t wonder why
This love has brought me from the dark
It will raise me to make my mark

On the day I am forgotten
I want you to try to smile
On the day I am laid to rest
I want you to dance for a while

When I held your hand
When I held your hand
We made our stand
We let love lead the way…
On that day…

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

thank you Ian, i have been editing and redoing all of my recent poetry. I feel when i do this though i tend to drop important parts, or erase memories of the feeling at the moment of creation. Honestly i hate editing, not sure why it hasnt been my best part of being a writer. I write what comes to me, what i feel, i was never one to dwell on structure or form, i am more one to ex sponge my feelings into words, let my soul drip through a leaky faucet and culminate in a full sink.
i do need help with editing my work, and talk to a few literature educated friends about it.
i greatly appreciate the time you spend on my work, if you have any editing suggestions please feel free to share, i appreciate every kind of help in poetry. Even a harsh blow to the abdomen is one that can help eventually.
I will be sure to inform you of my edits when i post them!
thanks again Ian T.
Best

-with what love could be...

Washing Tears

author comment

Elegant and simple,
thanks, Tears

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Directors

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