This is good. One line, # 7, seems out of whack, though.

Perhaps "she must be forever willing", instead?

Good stuff

[be] willing. The other line I would change is, the last one; I would use "She gives him joy." That way, she still "complies", but the rhyme is right! Just a suggestion, ~ Geezer

I liked the poem but there are a few lines I would tweak up, for starters I would break it into stanza's, giving each stanza the chance to shine, if you would like me to show you what I mean dont hestiate to ask I am always willing to help

sincerely Jayne-Chloe

Eyes cast down
submissive stance
she's his clown
he leads the dance

Always at his bidding
no initiative to show
she must forever show willing
or his wrath she will know

He'll pay for whatever she wants
as long as she obeys
with pretty things he taunts
her emotions he plays

She's his possession
one of his toys
he's her obsession
she lovingly complies

I think it reads much better like this, but if you dont agree dont change it it is after all your poem

sincerely Jayne-Chloe

the first verse sets up a very short, jazz rhythm which is great so i think the more you can stick to short sharp lines the better, it suits the theme.
eg
at his bidding
no initiative to show
forever willing
or his wrath she'll know

He pays for what she wants
as long as she obeys
with pretty things he taunts
her emotions he plays

she lovingly complies--- its a pity this last line doesn't rhyme but i wouldn't change it as the meaning is more important.

best wishes
ross

The poem reminds me of a sad relationship I was once in. I think he wanted a programable Doll, not a flesh and blood woman. What he really needed was therapy, and lots of it, lol. I really enjoyed these lines:

Always at his bidding
no initiative to show
she must forever show willing
or his wrath she will know

always, Cat