Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Love

Opening up

falling

Trusting

fallen

Regretting

broken

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 

Comments

It has a poingnant effect, but is, forgive my harshnest, it just a whine,

Use your words, longer lines and say something meanigful. It itjust for for others.

This is critical feedback. Avoid self indulgence.
and loveis the most cliched overused title for a oem ever.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

no problem jess thanks for reading x

author comment

I love pop culture
and graffiti

Internet runs tons of links and sight
pics of the photos of love and the
small words set on the page

Back in our day (late seventies to mid
nineties when we were "young")
people our age would never think to
write with white china marker on a photo
of something "Love" applique

That was the avante gaurd punk or hard rock
album covers to do that

and yet I love the effort of putting the work
into setting these kind things up

My love is from the hardcore street level
that saw the terror and horror and held
her ground at cost

if it was a war she went to fight it
for her country and herself
she didnt run away or rebel

I respect these folk
greatly At least in battle they have
my back.....the turncoats one never
knows....ever

I love this poem
its like scrabble my fave game that I lose
I play with crafty people with swift minds
and lose all the time.....I love intelligence
I love warriors
Warriors of the Heart have a special
place with me...

Thank You Sueb!

thanks esker all poems are art some like it, some don't I'm glad you liked this little one you've made me smile cheers x

author comment

That is great for a poet, but you are a verbose apologst in your endless comments. Try helping the poet not by your own peronal indulgence, but be suggesion improvements.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

and I like the poem
The title
as it stands!!

Thank You!

Hi Esker thanks again x

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.