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WAR CLOUDS

War clouds are gathering and covering the sun-
War clouds, collecting one by one;
And, though they may avert a battle in a distant sea,
Still, war clouds a-gather, oh together, over me

War clouds are gathering and filling up the sky:
War clouds that darken by and by…
Out in the wilderness, young girls must lose their lives
At the altar of the sanctimonious Sacrifice of Wives,
At the Martyrdom of Motherhood, ensnared in webs and lies…

Above it all, the vulture, lonely spectre in the sky,
Has a glaze of trapped madness in his beady eye,
While far below, the War God’s thunderous, velvet mantle cape,
The Skylark and the Owl may yet escape…
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If you'd like to hear the sung version of this, please click on the link below:
http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=6850613
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Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Some of the things that I have seen transpiring on this site over the past few days have saddened me... I was reminded of this song I'd written a while ago. The recording is a little rough, as it is a draft recording -Psyve
Editing stage: 

Comments

I guess it is because we then have no visual distractions and can let the music take our imagination where it will, with no visual cues to tie us to reality.

Glad you enjoyed this one, Amal.

Thank you for listening...

Psyve

author comment

Hi,

The ryme scheme for the first verse reminds of a nursery ryme, which stood out in juxtaposition with the theme, dont know if that was on purpose but I liked it.

I enjoyed this one, but felt that it it could be a little darker, maybe that's personal taste.

Well written.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

Not sure why you were reminded of nursery rhymes from the rhyming scheme of V-1. I certainly did not intend that, LOL!! :-)

This wasn't one of my darker writes... But the danger of war was real...

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment

Psyve

author comment

when I suspect the lines

Out in the wilderness, young girls must lose their lives
At the altar of the sanctimonious Sacrifice of Wives,
At the Martyrdom of Motherhood, ensnared in webs and lies…

refer to the bullshit rationalisation for invading Muslim countries on so called "feminist" grounds.

cheers,
Jess
Neopoet Managing Directors, with Richard (themoonman)

Actually that particular set of lines has no reference to anything geo-political.

Perhaps a bit of background helps. This one was written when Britain was about to go to war with Argentina over the Falklands...about 30 years ago. The danger of war loomed very real on the horizon and those were the War Clouds that were "gathering and covering the sun". A lot was going on in my life at that point of time and all of the other references including the lines you refer to were "cloaked" references to those events.

No prizes for guessing then who the "Skylark" was.

Psyve

author comment

One of my favourites of yours, Psyve.

However I am dismayed by your dismay. Why is it that even good singers, songwriters, poets call confrontation war? It doesn't have to escalate, does it?

As far as the poem, I too sense your taking to task those that oppress women/mothers/wives/sisters/aunts/daughters/lovers in the name of some *imagined* god.

Thank you.

~A

Am chuffed to know this is one of your favourites.

As I have indicated to Jess above, the reference in:

"Out in the wilderness young girls must lose their lives
At the Altar of the sanctimonious sacrifice of wives"

is not geopolitical, nor is it a general statement against or about the ill treatment of women in any particular part of the world. These lines and the references that follow,about the war god, the vulture, the owl and the skylark are all cloaked references to real people and events in my life at the time.

As I said to Jess, no bonus points for identifying who the Skylark is in this song.

Thank you for listening and commenting.

Psyve

author comment

Why didn't you comment on the important thing (at least for me)? The fact that confrontation is an affront to your sensitivities if not sensibilities as a poet, singer, songwriter, musician such as yourself. I'm surprised first by your comment and secondly by your lack of comment.

Is it intentional?

~A

Yes, it was intentional.

I don't know that I have to explain WHY I am saddened by what I saw here these past few days.

I'm not even sure I am ABLE to articulate it properly and I was concerned that my words would simply become fuel for further unpleasantness:

To my mind debate is good and healthy butshould never be carried out in a way that hurts another.

Certainly not on a site that ostensibly is a poetry site.

Yes some of us are more skilled poets than others, and yes, some of us are better at critiquing than others and yes some of us are here for different reasons than others.
But all of us are here for one common reason: we love to create with words.

But is it right for the fancy glass blower to look down on the creation of potter from a village? Both are creating art.

Speaking for myself I believe there is enough aggravation in life without having to add to it here, with boorish behaviour.

This is not a discussion I wanted to enter into at all.

It is certainly not the reason I am here in the first place: I came here to talk about poetry and lyrics and discuss meter and rhyme, and see how I could improve my own work.

Psyve

author comment

Exactly.

~A

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