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Walk To Bronte

The darling houses with their gardens of delight
are all done up as if they’re going out tonight.
Birds whistle, like the traffic, hardly noticed.
I goof along, singing songs, my eyes unfocused.

Children run, mothers fuss, its ten to nine.
Real cuckoo chimes the hour; kids form a line.
Cars angle parked beneath the trees are silver dark.
Grills grin, they’re sleekly shaped, cold as a shark.

From cliff tops vast a hazy smog lies out to sea.
Go past the stony graveyard, think of Valery.
Twenty years of silent study then one song.
Such faith unto his muse to wait so long?

At Bronte Baths, the rock washed colours abstractly
run down in lines as fine as filigree.
Old men are nut brown Buddhas in Speedos.
Life chatters on in cafes’ tabled rows.

I rest my legs, scribble this and sip a smoothie.
Girls in short shorts sexy stretch and think they’re groovy.
Of course they are! Seaside summer’s for the young.
I pay the bill, say “thank you, mate,” the bus has come.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
Notes: Valery’s poem is ‘Le Cimetière Marin’ (The Graveyard by the Sea). It’s in rhymed quatrains. Speedos, iconic Australian brand of swimming costume. Smoothie, type of milkshake
Editing stage: 

Comments

although I had to read it over a couple of times to get the rhythm. I'm not sure that I would have tried to do it in this form. It does give one a great picture of a summer's day at the beach. I think anyone could see that, no matter if the beach is here or there. Nice job, ~ Gee

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I wrote this y'day, its still spring but used a bit of poetic licence.

author comment

It;s a great thing you made noted some of the things you referenced in the Last Few Words. I get the feeling you're describing something very local, so I find it difficult to relate well to all the references in the poem.

I've got little to say about this one though. But for some instances where I felt your meter was not consistent enough (and it most likely is just me) esp.
"At the stony graveyard, think of Valery.
Twenty years of silent study then one song"
it read like a charm.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

Bronte's a local ocean beach, a very beautiful area and the 'baths' are on the rocks at the southern end and are well known locally. I'm sure they're be lots of photos on Google. The Waverly Cemetary is on the very high cliffs between Bronte and the next beach Clovelly. It contains the graves of three of Australia's best loved poets. Although I only learnt that today.
thanks for your comments
ross

author comment

After your query, I looked at the meter again and fixed it a little
thanks again
ross

author comment

gr8 descriptive poem ross liked the imagery much enjoyed cheers x

thanks for liking

author comment

I loved the rhythm and pace of the piece, I felt like I was following you around on your morning ritual

I have actually been to the baths its a lovely area and I had to laugh at the nut brown buddha's I could see them clear as day ... a great descriptive line that one !!

kudos again on another great read

love JC x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

Its still a beautiful spot, I live about 20 minutes walk from Coogee beach (been here 4 months) and am exploring the area walk by walk.
thanks again for your encouragement
ross

author comment

I loved strolling beside you as we walked, so descriptive that's what it felt like. Nice poem. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

best wishes
ross

author comment
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