Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Wake Up Call

Before I met Azrael
and knew of the
profound
dividing veil
my soul, innocent
slept indulged
believing only willows wept

Then a twinkle in unfledged eyes
that spoke of things to be
extinguished
unexpectedly

I’d thought we only died when we got old

Where, tell me
did his endless story go?
What other world is being set aglow

while I am left
with faded memory -
a fog of black and white
what used to be -
and yearn for days I
indulged, slept
believing only willows wept?

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

How great to see you. I really miss you. I was thinking of you today
Where have you been?

To your poem,
This left me with a wow. Very eloquent and articulate.
Your use of the repeated lines is really effective and adds to this poignant writing.

Ps. I can't see the use of the question mark on the last line. What am I missing? :)

Welcome back!

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

so lovely to see you too
i have popped in over the year on the occasion and read some of your stuff - love how you've just come on in leaps and bounds with your writing

thank you so very much for the lovely comment about my write
and if a title pops up i'll happily take it.... but not panicing for one in any way... any suggestions?

love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

"What other world is being set aglow

while I am left
with faded memory -
a fog of black and white
what used to be -
and yearn for days I
slept indulged
believing only willows wept?"

I think the space between the question and the next stanza needs to be removed.

Are you looking for a title? Or just not decided yet?

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Follow me
www.instgram.com/rularules1

but at the moment i think i like the set up as is...
thanks rulla
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

when I am here, and you are not, I miss you
when I am not here, I miss you even more...your voice and presence, like a logo, represents and reminds me of the vitality that neopoet has lent to my life...always luring me back...(hope that wasn't too gooey, gushy, mushy or maudlin!)

your poem is incredibly smooth, luxurious,,,and sad (but not maudlin)
defining a loss lasting forever, and which keeps delivering new reasons to weep

I can't even imagine....

This is one of my favorites of yours... the skill, craft, and beauty of the telling

sincerely,

Al

what a lovely thing to say - thank you
and thank you for the supportive comment regarding my write
it is greatly appreciated
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Beautiful poem. Can't find anything to critique. Flow and rhythm was great

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

for the read and very kind comment
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

It would be an understatement to say I missed your poetry. I can't find the words to express the void. It's so good to see you post again. Wishing all is and be well with you.

Regards,

raj (sublime_ocean)

for the lovely comment
i have missed you :)
hope all is well in your llittle corner of the world
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

A life cut short! - so sad. Memories fade into a black and white fog, You are such a skilled poet. I love the double barrelled title: it is the perfect fit for the poem!

This is a truly heart wrenching poem :)

Love to you

Mand xxx

Thanks so much for the lovely comments
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

recently the stream has been filled with absolute wonder! this one convinced me, we're doing quite good lately! i really like this. i am especially partial to the way you spaced it out, it adds a lot to the poem. and the pun, oh the way to my heart! very well done. keep bein' awesome judy.

mag

For the supportive words... greatly appreciated
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Sadness vague and well written firm

*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.

Neopoet Community

Thanks again
Love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

How the heck did I miss this one? That last stanza is beyond excellent........stan

for the great comment
i'm glad you liked this
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

Awesome Judy..
a well written poem

we are left

all of us
been a few days sleeping
myself over run
with many issues
sometimes its the way
delving dreams
and much came my way

A good descript of that
feeling
of being here
where others have left
and gone ahead

Thank You!

You comments are always appreciated as poetry in themselves

And your supportive words appreciated even more
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

author comment

and how you have grown
the story telling smoother
but always the raw feeling

poetry I love like my love
of textiles..the tactile thing
all can relate too..

if the poem can touch
it is woven with beauty
strength and care

thank U

It just doesn't seem right when the young leave us before they've even had the chance to show what their potential would be. Welcome back.........stan

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.