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Twenty Years to Destroy an Existence

It took around twenty years
To destroy an existence,
These were my most precious years,
Between late adolescence,
And early middle age,
But perhaps I am being too generous,
And that this terrible remorseless process
Of incessant self-spoliation
Persisted far beyond
A mere two decades of existence,
Still I look to the past
For a glimmer of peace,
To the past for a little release,
To the past for some consolation,
But the past remains resistant.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

of this right away. [Least I think so]. I'm thinking, I understand what you are saying about hoping that you can blame most of your mistakes and faults on the vagaries of youth, but still finding peace in things that brought you happiness. Yet those memories are tainted with the regret of deeds done and will not be forgotten so easily. "But the past remains resistant".
~ Geez.
.

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...put it better myself, Geezer, and yes it is true, I can find happiness, and peace, despite the vagaries of the past, and if that comes through in this piece, then that is all good. It was cathartic to write, but it has to be said, much of the time, I can find a degree of peace and happiness, more often than not, in simple things.

author comment

another wonderful read sir, i would say that the past remains resistant to all of us, thats why it's so fabulous- there are those who have lived the perfect existance and wouldnt ever want to change a thing, and then theres you! i truly wouldnt ever want to change a thing even the most awful stuff, because it was my journey and i own it. its funny when i listen to my girlfriends, when we share silly things and we compare stuff, im sure guys do it too. you said that soon your verses will be finish but i dont believe it for a minute, a poet who has a heart full of woes full of wisdom full of grief full of hope full of everything that makes us who we are, i look forward to it all. I love poems from the heart and you always deliver.

But perhaps I am being too generous,
And that this terrible remorseless process
Of incessant self-spoliation
Persisted far beyond

yes this is truly standing out for me. Enjoy your weekend Sir.

Thank you...Teddy

Teddy, not everyone likes my verse, or even thinks it's any good, I am grateful you do, truly. I have a few spare pieces stored away, I will brush them up, and what's more quite a few left to post. As for the future, I have to wait until the glass is half empty again before I feel inspired to write. But in the meantime, I have not a few left to post. And will write more. Have a great weekend, you too. Carl.

author comment

no pain no gain right? HEY when something like tragedy happens to me, i have nothing, my muse goes away. it's certainly different for all of us. the last time was for almost 7 years. we write when we want to write when that spark just comes, its ok.
nothing else counts.

Thank you...Teddy

I cannot write verse when the glass if half full, prose yes, music yes, but the verse is torn from me as it were...it almost writes itself.

author comment

See how we are all different that's amazing, the contrast between down and up, something very significant happened to me just this year that was so horrible it actually brought me back here. I rarely write about biographical moments, mainly because I feel naked. But that's why I love my journey to see what comes each day. Neopoet has always been my home, and the first time I found it, was when I was starting my life with my husband so it just shows the winds of the day can change everything because those were the most joyous of times.

Thank you...Teddy

Welcome back as they say...

author comment
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