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Summer Love (July Contest)

Summer Love

I scattered sand
Took shells from the sea
Made a wedding band
Just for you and me

I wait with patience
For you to find me
Soft music makes sense
Palm trees planted three

With truth we will talk
To plan a future
Tie a knot type walk
A soft love venture

July it was for us
I had made in dreams
There you with no fuss.
A beautiful scene..

Yours Yenti..

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
A quick write hence the last verse was not up to standard, Have since sorted a bit, hope it complies with the form
Editing stage: 
Contest: 

Comments

You have couple of weeks to edit to whatever standard you desire

Sounds like the romantic spirit, Ian.
i think I skipped all that lol
Oh well, that's a 14 year old huh?
Best of luck for you,

~Mark~

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Many thanks for your read , mine is there to make up the numbers lol
Loved has read it and missed JULY in the poem
I was trying to write in that Penty what's it form.
Just a struggle, and it sounds forced ..
I will stick with my freedom lol,
Thanks again, Yours Ian

Words can build a nation

author comment

not of years flown down ur Thames
EDIT it else it for DQ qualifies

Suggest you compose another one
I did in five minutes

before stan gave
the limitless extension

but I shall stick to my version
to competitions now
I have gained aversion

this piece was completely about July
or did you miss a word spelt J U L Y lol
have a great day,
Yours Ian..

Words can build a nation

author comment
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