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The winters prison has opened
its cage

to let out of the gate a new
Golden day. The world changed
Colours. Burgundy cherrys, sun
panther blush pinks, and deep
Psychedelic, rows of specks
soldiers and a

Fusion explosion of colours.
Emerald summer
Carpets of buzz cut grass and

early-morning messages.
The musician sirens
Of musical hedgerows and
evergreen trees

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.


The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "SPRING" presents a vivid and vibrant depiction of the transition from winter to spring, using a rich palette of colors and imagery. However, there are areas where clarity and consistency could be improved.

1. The poem opens with the metaphor of winter as a prison, which is a strong image. However, the phrase "open its cage" seems grammatically incorrect. It might be more accurate to say "opens its cage" or "has opened its cage."

2. The use of color in the poem is striking, but the phrase "panther blush pinks" is somewhat confusing. Panthers are typically associated with black or dark colors, so it's unclear how this image relates to pink. It might be worth reconsidering this metaphor for clarity.

3. The phrase "cloud birds" is also somewhat unclear. If this is meant to be a metaphor, it could be more explicitly connected to the idea it's representing. If it's meant to be taken literally, as birds in the sky, it might be more effective to separate the two words for clarity.

4. The poem's structure could benefit from more consistency. The line lengths vary significantly, which can disrupt the rhythm of the poem. Consider revising the poem with a more consistent structure to improve its flow.

5. The final line, "Of musical hedgerows and evergreen trees," introduces a new idea but doesn't fully develop it. If these elements are important to the poem's overall message, they could be expanded upon in earlier lines.

6. The use of punctuation is inconsistent. Some lines end with periods, while others do not, and there are places where commas might be needed for clarity. Reviewing the poem for consistent punctuation could improve its readability.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

I much enjoyed reading and envisioning your spectrum of colors. Excellent!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Thank you i enjoyed writing it !

author comment

panther pinks supposed to give the color of the Pink Panther? ~ Geez.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Yes lol spot on

author comment

I meant to compliment you on your use of vivid color! I can picture most of the plants you describe and their settings. I like to putter around in a garden if I get the chance. Thanks for the great visuals, ~ Geez.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I'm glad I portrayed what I set out to do and make it come alive and visual

author comment
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